EPISODE NUMBER: 5049 (April 14, 2009)
GUEST: Sunita L. Williams, Susie Orbach
SEGMENTS: Clarance Thomas impresses the kids, The WØRD: Have Your Cake And Eat It, Too, NASA Node 3 update
VIDEOS: Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I don’t know about you guys, but when I start respecting a major appliance over a Supreme Court judge, I start to worry about the balance of things in my life.
For those who don’t follow my Twitter feed, the AP leaked the story about the Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill (COLBERT) about an hour before the show started. The ones I feel bad for are the Browncoats, honestly. At least Stephen Colbert and the Nation got a treadmill. And I loved the Jetsons clip in the show bumper.
Stephen has often hinted, both as “Stephen” and even in actual interviews, that he is sensitive about his looks and weight. (Anyone who has listened to the ‘Strangers With Candy’ commentary will know what I’m talking about.) I found the guest interesting and find the topic of “normal” body size one of the most squirm-inducing topics that can be introduced on ‘The Colbert Report’. I think it’s because for me, like so many others out there, body image is an intensely personal issue, and one that most of us (self very much included) have very intense feelings about. It’s always interesting to see the walls that go up when body image is discussed. The end of the interview did lighten things up a bit for me, though – Stephen was determined to get that ‘Daily Show’ quip out at the end. I love it when he fights to slip in a joke he’s dying to tell.
So – are you as happy about the treadmill as Stephen? Did you love the nailing that Colbert gave Thomas? Are you as happy for the show to be back as we are? Can’t wait to hear your comments!
- Funergy – It’s like carbonated Ritalin, in that it’s carbonated Ritalin.
- Seriously, it’s like they’ve given rights to *everybody*.
- The Articles of Obligation: If you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean; Employees must wash hands; and If you want to go to the mall, little lady, you have to bring your little sister.
- The Articles of Responsibility: Bring enough gum for everyone; Pretend you know about sports; and Never stare at the man in the next urinal.
- One of the nine finest judicial minds in the country.
- Of course, we’ll first need to know its opinion on Roe v Cascade. Or Brown v the Cutting Board of Education.
- I have not been this confused since my accountant told me I could save money by giving to charity.
- [Doocy's Carpet Doesn't Match The Drapes]
- Now, they meant to give only $20, but out of habit charged themselves the usual interest. [Now Must Pawn Their Congressman]
- Now, when someone is charged 780% interest, they’ll still feel like a debt pineapple is being hammered up their ass, but they will have the comfort of knowing that that pineapple meets the strictest Federal guidelines. [Unless The Ass Pineapple Lobby Objects]
- I don’t want to tell the Dioxin dumpers how to run their business. [They're A Sponsor]
- And just to get into the space mood, I have taken a bunch of cough syrup, so it feels like I’m floating. Don’t try that at home.
- Fartmonkey character break FTW!
- Everyone at NASA voted and decided “Launch the chimps first”.
- And the child will say, “The same Stephen Colbert who saved the world from the Zombie Dragon onslaught?” And the mother will say, “Yes, he was the most tender lover I’ve ever known.”
- In space, no one can hear you stink.
- The words that will pass down from space to ground are It’s time for me to jump on COLBERT.
- And however far the space station goes, my treadmill will have gone a few miles farther.
- You talk about the myth of obesity. Madam, I have been to the Midwest. I assure you the legends are true. Have you never been to a place called the Cheesecake Factory?
- [RE: George Clooney] A gun to my head? Yeah, obviously.
- Because you have an English accent you don’t have to worry about this?
A great return to the airwaves, Stephen and Colbert Report geniuses! I laughed out loud (truly) at several points during the show and honestly don’t know what my favorite part was. The lawyer in me loved the Clarence Thomas snark; I’d been e-mailing some of my co-workers that story about Thomas’s speech, and we were all pretty much doing the disbelieving laughter thing when we read it. But then, the line about the brunettes on Fox News (or NOT) was also hilarious, and the treadmill presentation was a ball.
I agree that the interview danced around a topic that many of us find uncomfortable, but I thought it was nicely done, and I liked that Orbach was able to make her point about George Clooney. One of my friends is an absolute Amazon, just a big girl, but in no way fat. According to crazy BMI formulas, though, she’s obese. WTF? It drives me up the wall that important “standards” like this can be so wrong. So anyhow, I thought Orbach was right to point out the limitations of certain “obesity” measurements. And the joke about The Daily Show at the end was great.
Also? “Fartmonkey” — HEE!
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wait a minute! I didn’t get to watch tonight, but I just got sucked in and read the summary. and then I was about to vote in the poll (I was deliberating in my head) without having seen a second of the actual show! I love having my voice heard, I suppose…
so yeah, I’ll get back to you sometime in the far future (tomorrow night?) when I can sit down and watch this. :D
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right away, the adorable levels were through the roof. it’s a tough vote tonight, because each segment had at least one killer, laugh-out-loud line. i think i gotta go NASA, due to the “fartmonkey”/”tender lover” combo. i’m surprised he only broke once; he seemed on the brink for the whole show.
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“Good night, Helen!”
Was anyone reminded of The Tree Surgeon when Stephen (Dr. Kimbel Mathius) says, “I’ll never love again…Helen!”
I don’t understand why he said that at the end of the show. Probably just one of those random things.
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My only guess was that yesterday might have been Helen Thomas’s birthday…but other than that I have no clue.
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The fartmonkey character break made me laugh for a long time. Too much.
I really didn’t expect NASA to name the node after Stephen, but I’m relieved they came up with something better than a space toilet to name after him. And seriously– “It’s time for me to jump on COLBERT.” I’d have no trouble saying that.
I loved the interview, even though the subject is certainly a difficult one for me. If I gain even another six ounces I’ll have to move up to the next level of pant. But Susie Orbach did make a good point about the way that the label “obese” is applied. It only adds to the body image problems a lot of us have. And the Daily Show line at the end was excellent.
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It’s very cool that NASA found a way to honor Stephen by naming something to match the acronym “COLBERT.” And, I absolutely love the patch they are going to be putting on the treadmill. Also, Fartmonkey? HAHAH!!!
I was so glad to see the Clarence Thomas segment. I had read an article about it over the weekend and almost didn’t believe it because I thought Thomas’ comments were ridiculous. Brown vs. the cutting board of education was my favorite line from last night’s show. Besides being funny, it seemed to be unscripted, which made it even better.
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A Great Show.
A Homerun.
I admire NASA for the ingenious way they snuck the Colbert name onto the space station – it was both appropriate and not too pandering to “Stephen”‘s ego. Plus they managed to deny both the Colber Nation and Whedonite ballot stuffing drives.
Nowadays, without easy targets of campaign bullsh*t and Bush incompetence, it’s not everyday when Colbert has a segment of great political satire, but last night he managed two on Clarence Thomas and payday loans. Not enough attention is paid to the payday loan industry and the way they rip off the poorest people.
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The current “emergency loan industry” would make old loan-sharks blush. I watch horse-racing and until recently, Cash Call (with spokesperson Gary Coleman) was a major advertiser on one of the racing channels.
According to their website, a $2600 loan has a $75 processing fee and a 99.25% annual interest rate with monthly payments of $216 over 42 months. “And remember, make sure you can repay before you borrow.”
Even the racing station hosts had trouble promoting their advertiser. One said, “If you need money and you have no family and no friends who can help, then Cash Call may be the best friend you have.”
Of course with friends like this, enemies become unnecessary.
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What’s not to love about this episode?
… Seriously, Clarence Thomas really said that about dishwashers?!
Loved the final line in The Word, “… It’s the industry’s cake – and consumers can eat it!”
I LOVE character breaks! He almost lost it at the Cascade joke, too.
I’ll have to watch the interview with Dr. Orbach again – kind of anti-climactic after the COLBERT …. I’m looking forward to the mileage Stephen’ll get out of it.
Sorry, couldn’t resist the pun.
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“it” meaning the treadmill, of course.
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I enjoyed your pun:)
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Another vote for the NASA segment – Stephen was just so much fun to watch during it! But, as fun as that was, it was actually a hard choice – lots of good stuff with the Word, and, especially, the Clarence Thomas segment. When my youngest was about a year, she was fascinated by a front-loading washing machine. That I could see – but a dishwasher!?!?!!? One of the “nine finest legal minds” in the US. Hmm…..
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I was disappointed when Williams said they chose Tranquility, and not much happier when she mentioned the treadmill, but when she recited the acronym I was totally sold on it.
I have no idea what the Helen sendoff was about, but it reminded me of the chapter in Wigfield in which Hoakes interviews himself. “Who’s Helen?” “This interview is over.”
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I was thinking about the
“Goodd night, Helen” this morning and thought the only Helen I associate with Stephen is WH reporter, Helen Thomas. I googled her in Google News(I really ought to do some work) and it said she won received a journalism award last night. Perhaps that was Stephen’s shout-out to her!
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Could it be some reference to the closing line of an old TV show?
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The send-off reminded me of Jimmy Durante’s famous closing line, “Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.”
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Oh my God…I didn’t even make the Russell Hoakes interview! Hilarious!
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I’m with the people who are asking why even have the vote if you aren’t going to follow through. Fine and dandy, not naming it Colbert even though the name won, or even Serenity since it was 2nd place and those were what people asked for. I find it stupid to offer people a vote. Why do so in the first place?
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Agreed. But at least they came up with a way to take us all into account, and keep a sense of humor with it. So really, not the optimum, but not the worst they could have done, either.
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I think NASA forgot about votebots, since they produce results which don’t reflect actual popularity. Having the most votes =/= having the most people voting for you.
The treadmill, especially given the brilliant acronym, was a good compromise.
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“He’s the most tender lover I ever had”……ahhhhhh…..! He never disappoints the fangirls!
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yes–so good :)
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I agree with Eris. Good line.
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It was a hard choice as I just adored the pineapple joke to pieces — but I had to give it up to NASA. I have to agree with Anonymous Coward — it was oh so wise for NASA to remove itself from the naming wars between the Nation and the Whedonites. I suspect it may have gotten ugly had one been chosen and not the other, but I really appreciate the fact that they took the time to make up the treadmill acronym. Very clever! Folks over at NASA = It Getters
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Doocy’s Carpet doesn’t match the drapes…
That made me feel wonderful since I was on a Colbert/Sedaris/Dinello binge yesterday. Man, I just love anything the three of them do together. It’s all fantastic.
I’m so proud of NASA not just for naming the treadmill after him, but for being clever and making it an acronym! Plus the graphic is priceless.
Fartmonkey…maybe next time NASA is naming a node we should have a voting campaign for that. X)
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Forgot to mention: my favorite thing about the C.O.L.B.E.R.T. patch is that NASA included a WristSTRONG bracelet on Stephen’s right wrist. :)
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Good detective work, Ms I. – I hadn’t noticed that.
Guess I was awestruck by Stephen’s visage. ;D
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I never noticed that either Ms.
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Wow! You guys are being *so* much nicer about NASA not naming the node after Stephen than they are over on the CN messageboard. LOL! Personally, I had serious doubts they were going to name it after him so I wasn’t disappointed. And I thought naming the treadmill after him was funny. Allowing the public to vote on the name and then including a write-in option was just poor planning on NASA’s part.
I had forgotten about the Clarence Thomas bit! LOL! That was so funny. Good Word too! The lobbyists and politicians are far too tight with each other.
I had a lot of the same reactions to the interview. I found it a bit funny that a woman who appeared to be so rail-thin would tell the rest of us we shouldn’t worry about our weight or appearance. But perhaps she’s just genetically blessed like my husband and his sister. I do agree with her that BMI’s are crap and we obsess far too much over our weight and appearance, although I find myself falling into the trap of comparing myself to others occasionally. I’m hoping I can teach my kids that being healthy and comfortable with yourself is far more important than trying to conform to some unrealistic ideal. It’s tough though, when that unrealistic ideal is so ingrained in our culture. I enjoyed the interview overall, especially the joke at the end. :-)
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On the subject of being comfortable with oneself, this shamelessly sappy video has been making my poor little heart swell up like the Grinch’s on Christmas ever since I first laid eyes on it …
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i LOVE that video! i saw it a couple of days ago and i have watched it like five times. i totally get misty, and im def not a crier!
and i had to vote for the NASA segment, but the word was fantastic as always. bullets snarkiness is just too great!
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I voted for”The Word” first, but then threw in a vote for Nasa. They actually tied with me so both votes.
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Yay for shamelessly sappy videos! That was awesome! :-)
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Agreed.
I loved it, and I cried through most of it. =D
Reminds me of the Paul Potts audition
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEo5bjnJViA
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Oh my gosh. Thank you so much MsI. So amazing.
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That was amazing! I’d not seen it before. Made me cry. Susan Boyle is incredible.
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I think Stephen got snubbed. He won that contest fairly and I think that NASA was just trying to make everyone happy by naming something for him. Apparently I’m not the only one: http://tv.yahoo.com/show/38498/news/urn:newsml:tv.reuters.com:20090415:us_space_colbert__ER:20553
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Sadly, the use of votebots pretty much f!ck up any claim to a vote being won ‘fair and square’, I think.
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Stephen cracking up and then totally geeking out over OMG SPACE = autowin. ♥
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First of all, Colbert Nation and NASA need to jointly sell that COLBERT patch so we can put it on our own treadmills or wherever! Can we at least get a screencap of it on Colbertpics? Haha. I loved how Sunita Williams had to read off her hand to remember what COLBERT stood for.
Also, I second Dee’s enthusiasm for the line “He’s the most tender lover I ever had…” and I loved the zillion “jump on Colbert” references! In other words…I voted for the NASA segment:)
I’m glad the interview was with Suzie Orbach rather than Suzie Orman since that’s the person I had in my mind. However, I wish Stephen had given Ms. Orbach a little more time to eleborate on her points. I didn’t realize that Stephen was so sensitive about his body image as DB suggested above, but it seemed that Ms. Orbach didn’t personally address his body image to any great length and thus I don’t know why he would have been so defensive about it. Oh well.
Stephen, you are an amazingly handsome man. No need to worry about your body image:)
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I completely agree with you in never noticing Stephen’s sensitivity. He struck me as confident – in and out of character. I guess he’s just REALLY good at hiding it or I’m not as perceptive as I think xD Stephen, I think you’re gorgeous! Much more handsome than other guys I’ve seen! ^_^
I read a news article from our local paper about the node on our area’s radio program (for the blind), so I promoted it quite a bit. Not sure how many people watched… I, too, kinda knew they weren’t going to name it after him :( But the treadmill was awesome! I’m glad they named SOMETHING after him!
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I’m on the other side–I should be a lot more body conscious than I am. Not that I should care what other people think, but I should care what I think. I don’t really think about it at all, and that’s not very womanly, I should be more womanly.
On the other hand, I’ve always cared what my men thought. It was a freeing experience dating a couple West African men. In their culture a woman can’t be hot unless she is over two hundred pounds. To phrase it in a family-friendly way it was freeing to see their amorous reaction to my form. On the other hand, that sort of thing has been a moot point for several years now for me. Which brings me back to my first point–I should pay more attention to my body for its own sake, for me.
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Not quite related, but when you mentioned being more womanly reminded me of when I was going for an interview at a graduate school. I was wearing high heels and walked through the dirt without a second thought. It wasn’t until the bus ride back that I discovered clobs of dirt caked onto the heels! I normally wear sneakers or flip-flops. The sad part is I do this FAR too often when I’m in heels xD
Maybe being “womanly” is slightly overrated xD
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Dishwashers aren’t very popular here so I’ll probably be looking at it with extreme fascination if ever we get one in the far distant future. Hopefully I don’t get all Clarence Thomas over it. Haha.
Very strategic on the part of NASA to do what they did. And yes, I agree that they should sell that patch to the Colbert Nation. Here’s a link to the pic, from CollectSpace: http://www.collectspace.com/images/news-041409e.jpg
The interview was interesting and yes, a bit uncomfortable, but I think she was able to get her point across.
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Oooh! Thanks for the link!
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Even though I love me a good character break and yet another immortalization of Stephen Colbert’s name, I had to vote Clarence Thomas. It was just such a good nailing.
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LMAO…fartmonkey.
I just watched the episode and it was GREAT! He was a sight for sore eyes, certainly. Didn’t realize how much I’d missed him over the long weekend! This was a genuinely funny episode.
I like the idea of the C.O.L.B.E.R.T – it’s a nice consolation prize, I think. It’s nice.
“Goodnight, Helen!” – what was that all about?!
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episode was certainly awesome, but the best part, for me was when he talked about no brunettes on Fox News and Doocy’s carpet and drapes. I have noticed before the preponderance of vapid blondes on FN AND in the GOP in general, things that make you go hmmmm….
Steven’s cute little gimp ear probably gives him some image issues, but it’s sexy to me!
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as promised I am back after I’ve actually watched the show.
I thought the treadmill thing was a great compromise! it’s still really cool that it will be in space! plus the whole intro to that segment was very smiley!
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I wasn’t too bummed that NASA didn’t name the node after him. I didn’t really expect it. And Stephen got so much mileage out of the whole thing, while out promoting M v A. Remember when he told Meredith Vierra that NASA had promised him they’d name the node after him? Also, she didn’t think he’d want it named after him.
M “Isn’t that kind of egocentric?”
S “Have you not watched my show? Have you not been listening to this interview?”
Bwah. I love the treadmill. And loved Sunny Williams.
Great show!
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