Episode 5031 – R.A.P.S. (Awesome!)
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You know a show that features fog that prominently is going to be a good one, and Stephen Colbert did not disappoint tonight.
There’s something about the Colbert Nation being called to action that really makes me appreciate Stephen, and this fandom. Together, we can take silliness to new and even bigger heights. Thank goodness Stephen uses his power for good as well as silly.
The intro to the new segment “Stephen Colbert’s Doom Bunker” was amazingly distracting – in case anyone was wondering, that was officially 13.6 seconds of gratuitous monkey bumping. I love when Stephen slams Glenn Beck, and as the scenarios got more proposterous, I enjoyed watching the Colonel get the look in his eyes of “What in the world did I get myself into?”
Loved the Latin bit in the interview. Good God, Latin! Poor Carl Wilson was so nervous, though, he was shaking in his hipster boots. I was hoping that Stephen would explore the culture of fandom more in the interivew. Then again, he kind of did that in the first segment, didn’t he?
Feel free to wax poetically about your favorite scenario, and your favorite werewolf (I call Teen Wolf!). Here are some of the more memorable quotes from tonight’s show.
- Whoo! We did it!
- This is a real feather in my cap, or as we say in the Celebrity Center, a real thetan in my sea org.
- Visual Approximation
- Although Scientologists, if you want to make it even more believable, add a talking snake and a virgin who has babies.
- Pitiful earth creatures! Do my bidding!
- Also, Tom Cruise, come on my show. Seriously, you’ll do Kimmel but you won’t do me? Colbernu out!
- I gotta say, I make that thing work.
- And judging by the chins to Beck ratio, it might be him.
- Then Beck chewed on some prediction peyote and took us on a basic cable vision quest.
- On the other hand, more viewers for Fox news.
- GHOST MALLS! You mean the creepy old people who currently wander around malls aren’t ghosts. Aaaaaargh!
- Scenario 1: It is the year 2012, the Dow is trading below 1000, unemployment is at 40%, and there is an armed insurrection in El Kañsas. Okay, I forgot to mention everything west of the Mississippi is now in Mexico.
- Scenario 2: The year is 2014, the Dow Jones is trading under 250 points, the Koala Pox epidemic has wiped out all the world’s livestock, and instead of money, our currency is soybeans.
- I couldn’t share this information with Mr. Moore before for security reasons, but in this scenario we also have a werewolf Congress.
- But there are no werewolves, Stephen!
- Stephen Moore, can we afford silver bullets at this point?
- Scenario 3: it’s the year 2019. The US Auto industry is gone, but every car in America turns out to be a Decepticon. Evil robots in every garage.
- Scenario 4: The year is 2012. President Obama’s policies have worked. Pulling out of the Iraq war was the right thing to do. The stimulus plan has the Dow rebounding to somewhere in the 12,000 area, people’s faith in the government is restored.
- And did you ever understand why she wears these leather outfits like this?
- What horrific experience would someone go through that Celine Dion would be the answer?
- As a hipster music critic, shouldn’t you like Celine Dion, just ironically?
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25 Comments
March 5th, 2009 at 12:32 am
We totally need moar Doom Bunker.
Decepticons, people. DECEPTICONS. XD
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March 5th, 2009 at 12:33 am
Great show! Loved the Doom Bunker, Glenn Beck certainly received some well deserved roasting tonight.
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March 5th, 2009 at 12:57 am
LOVED THE DOOM BUNKER! yes that intro, I really didn’t know where to direct my attentions there…but the whole thing was great! it was actually pretty amusing how the guests were sticking to their points and not exactly playing along.
the last guest, I was just thinking: that is me trying to be on TV in any capacity, TCR or not. (TCR I’d shake to the point of potentially causing structural damage to the studio.) I like the idea of the book quite a bit, although I’m not sure why it should center around Celine Dion. I think my impression of its message gets muddled with my existing opinion of her. I wonder if there is more fandom content somewhere in there, though.
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March 5th, 2009 at 1:28 am
I just learned today that one of my friends thinks Glen Beck is “the voice of reason” My brain hurts just to think of it. MORE DOOM BUNKER PLEASE!
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March 5th, 2009 at 3:06 am
LOVED the doom bunker. I couldn’t stop laughing! That kind of stuff reminds me why I stopped watching network news such a long time ago. and good lord was carl wilson nervous.
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March 5th, 2009 at 3:07 am
I bet that 4th senario is Glen Beck’s and the Fox News worst nightmare! It certainly would spell doom for them if that last one ever happened!
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March 5th, 2009 at 6:55 am
I was just thinking about this, listening to news clips from TPM that those on the right agreeing with Rush (wishing that Obama’s policies would fail) were justifying this saying they wanted it to fail because they believe he is wrong. So, I guess what they are really afraid of is being proved wrong. I could respect someone saying they disagree with what he’s doing, but doesn’t this attitude reek of 3rd grade?
Sorry to get so serious, but I’m getting really tire of listening to adolescents in adult bodies passing for sources of opinion in the media.
Overall, great show (especially Doom Bunker) and Ogre Milk is officially my favorite band right now.
And I call Michael Landon aka Tony Rivers (the Teenage Werewolf)
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March 5th, 2009 at 4:28 am
So I recently found crooksandliars.com, and they introduced me to the glory in scumminess and fear that is Glen Beck. And even though I hate him so much I really can’t stop watching the guy. The choking emotion in his voice when he can’t find words for the apoplectic fit of rage that even makes Bill O’Reilly say Beck’s a nut…oh man. He really had this coming. Like totally, 1000% deserved it. So have no mercy, new galactic overlord! Tonight is the hardest I’ve laughed at Colbert in years, probably ever.
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March 5th, 2009 at 4:30 am
Doom Bunker was brilliant. So, following the laws of Hipsterian Evolution, Koala Pox are the new Monkey Pox, yes?
Also, I call Werewolves of London.
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March 5th, 2009 at 5:00 am
IMHO, I think Scientology would make more sense (or some) if Stephen were in charge of it…
Loved the piece on Glenn Beck. But in all fairness to Mr. Beck, a Ghost Mall would be almost as awesome as a Werewolf Congress or a Decepticon in every driveway. :)
And more Doom Bunker, please! *grabby hands*
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March 5th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
All they’d have to do is rename it “Stephencology” and I would join it.
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March 5th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Cool Doom Bunker! Koala pox! Decepticons!
The topic of taste actually reminded me of Susan Sontag and camp (It’s so bad it’s good, everything is in quotation marks…).
Here’s a funny excerpt from Carl Wilson’s book:
“From the start her music struck me as bland monotony raised to a pitch of obnoxious bombast—R&B with the sex and slyness surgically removed, French chanson severed from its wit and soul … Oprah Winfrey–approved chicken soup for the consumerist soul, a neverending crescendo of personal affirmation deaf to social conflict and context.”
I wonder if it was “My Heart Will Go On” that made him listen to her songs for an entire year that ultimately led him to write the book? I remember I was in seventh grade when that song was released and the students in our school were trying to learn the song either on their bamboo flutes or recorders we were studying under our music program. :)
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March 5th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song played as much on the radio as “My Heart Will Go On” was back then. Jeezy creezy. It didn’t take long to go from liking that song to loathing it.
And now it’s wormed its way into my head.
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March 5th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I know. And considering that we have a lot of sing-along bars and karaoke machines, that song will always be everywhere. :(
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March 5th, 2009 at 10:29 am
El Kañsas, Werewolf Congress and Decepticons made this vote a no-brainer for me.
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March 5th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Doom Bunker was spectacular and hysterical. It looks like Beck and Fox news has become a fun target for TCR these days but it’s kind of like shooting fish in a barrel. We definitely need more of Stephen as Galactic Overlord, he rocks that silver cape.
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March 5th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Just as everyone else has already said, the Doom Bunker was just brilliant! I loved Jack Jacobs’ reaction to Stephen’s ridiculous scenarios, especially when Stephen said to him, “You’re no fun.” Haha! I did some serious cackling though when Stephen donned that silver cape and declared he was the new galactic overlord! Absolutely, positively fantastic show!
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March 5th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
It’s a hard choice between Stephen the Galactic Overlord and the Doom Bunker, but I go with Doom Bunker simply for that awesome graphic and all that fog! Plus some of the best lines were during that segment, like the “You’re no fun.” and the general finally (sort of) going along with the idea of Decipticons by saying “We’re not going to nuke the Decipticons!”
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March 5th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
“Ignorant, illiterate, wacked out hillbillies with nothing to lose. Terrifying! On the other hand, more viewers for Fox News.” !!! HA !!!
Another fantastic episode. As my 2 year old would say, “Makes me a little bit happy!”
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March 5th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Doom Bunker, hands down. Hilarious!
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March 5th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Holy smokes! (or fog, I guess) The Bunker of Doom is possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on this show, and that says quite a bit! Just fantastic all around.
oh, and DB, I’m sure you know it’s “Colonel” not “Colonial”. ;)
recaptcha: gropings 1974
I’m a little creeped out by this! (plus, 74 is the year I was born)
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March 5th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
We need more Doom Bunker!! Hah, that was so hilarious. The whole show was pretty awesomely silly. Stephen is our Galactic Overlord!
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March 5th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
That has got to be one of the funniest episodes I’ve seen. Got to be. I don’t ever remember laughing harder or more often during the show. Every aspect was just beyond-words-amazing. It had a lot of the *random factor* that I love so much. You know, those quotable moments you can just never predict, like “Koala Pox” and “Werewolf Congress” and Decepticons! And Ghost Malls!
Loved the whole Scientology segment, and very much the rip on the believability of Christianity.
Plus I always love a good challenge, especially “name this after me” challenges. The Hungarian bridge was how I first became excited about Colbert in the first place!
I also thought the book sounded rather intermesting. Might go buy that one.
“I was just thinking: that is me trying to be on TV in any capacity, TCR or not. (TCR I’d shake to the point of potentially causing structural damage to the studio.)” – Tiger
^lmao! I noticed that, too. Poor guy was hard to watch.
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March 5th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
the doom bunker was too much!!!!!! during his intro, with the monkeys humping, i laughed so hard i spit my coke all over the computer, out the nose, and was beside myself with laughter. my roommate actually came in my room to see what the hell was going on … TOO MUCH!
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March 6th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
My husband and I laughed so hard at Doom Bunker! I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mr. jentaps laugh so hard. Each scenario got worse and worse, until the last one. HA
I hope they bring back the silver cape. Love Stephen as our overlord, especially with that cool voice thing.
Really great episode.
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