Hey, Zoners! Have you missed ‘The Colbert Report’ as much as I have this week? I’m already looking forward to Monday night’s show. Just a few more days to go…
Tonight’s Klassic Kolbert episode is focused around a single theme: “A Colbert Report Special Report – The De-Edumacation of the American Brainscape.” It is a really fun one. I hope you enjoy it!
Here are some notable quotes:
- That story sullies the time honored dance teacher-student relationship. Nobody puts Baby in the corner, but more importantly, Mr. Swayze, nobody should put anything in Baby either.
- Take a look at this sentence right here: [Timmy and Me Went to the Store to Buy Milk.] Wouldn’t the correct grammar really be: [Timmy and Me and Jesus Went to the Store to Buy Milk.] Because Jesus is with Timmy and I wherever us go.
- You know, I had a public school education up until around first grade. Then I went to parochial schools. My parents were afraid my teachers weren’t talking about the Crucifixion enough.
- There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Some of my best friends are going to hell, but I say we don’t make them the gym teacher.
- On the other hand, evolution is a fraud perpetrated by the liberal elite to destroy Christianity. Jesus was not a monkey. I think they would have mentioned that somewhere in the Gospels.
- You know, my grandpa told me stories about how he used to walk six miles to school, where he would learn numbers with a piece of coal on the back of a shovel. And we’d laugh and steal his walker.
- The bully system teaches leadership skills to our dumb kids while encouraging our nerdy kids to get smarter so they may one day rise to the top of the corporate ladder, where they can crush those meat-heads who gave them all those purple-nurples by sending their jobs to China.
- Let’s face it, bullying is the American way. Just ask yourself – do you think little George W. Bush took it or dished it out? Instill those values in your children and they could grow up to be president.
Videos after the cut!
As an “edumacator,” I loved watching this episode, especially Frank McCourt’s interview (& Stephen’s character break). Thanks, Jenny with a Y, for posting the clips. Must go – time to get ready to teach my HS students!
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I’m glad you liked it, juice. I used to be an “edumacator” too! And, like you, I LOVED the McCourt interview. It was just wonderful.
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I agree. Frank McCourt gives a great interview! And The Word: Smarterer was fantastic, especially the part with the square root. Great choice!
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My favorite quote: “Look, I don’t understand what is going on there, but what worries me is that today’s students probably do.”
Funny, because it is true. As an edumacator, I totally agree!!! Sidenote, I would love to take a class from Mr. Colbert–I would even sit through a class with Mr. Noblet!
Thanks for posting! This made my prep period, on a Friday, that much better! Happy Weekend everybody! I am off to make our students smarterer.
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Just after I graduated I taught intro to lit for a year at my university and I hope I was able to make a few students smarterer.
And that image about nuns and cleavage is hysterical! I will never look at my Catholic high school and the nuns that run it the same way ever again! Thanks for the episode. :)
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