Klassic Kolbert – Episode 3061 (05/07/2007)

The episode we are featuring tonight, was chosen by DB. There is a lot to love about this one: “The WØRD – The Intolerant,” a French speaking Stephen, Bobby dressed as a mime, the introduction of Cheating Death, and a great interview with Richard Preston. I hope you enjoy it!

Here are some notable moments:

• Well, Nation, we did it again. This past Sunday, the French people went to the polls and elected conservative, pro-American candidate Nicolas Sarkozy as their new President. We won! Yes! And I can’t help but think I had something to do with it, since I don’t pronounce the last ‘T’ in my name.
• Now, I’m not ashamed to say that I have a strict ‘no gay’ policy here. I weed ‘em out with a simple test. When I hire a guy, I show him a picture of a shirtless Matthew McConaughey. I ask if the applicant finds this picture hot. If he says, ‘Yes,’ I know he’s comfortable with his masculinity, and he’s hired. If he says, ‘No,’ then I know he’s just trying to cover up his gayness. ‘Cause I don’t care where you stable your pony, That’s a thoroughbred.
• James Dobson pointed out on his radio show just how bigoted this anti-bigotry law really is… This law could discriminate against conservative Christians, by taking away their right to discriminate against homosexuals. [Gay-Bashing Bashing]
• The pro-tolerance crowd is so hypocritical. They’re always going on about how Americans should be more accepting. But as soon as they’re asked to accept intolerance, they’re surprisingly intolerant. And you know who suffers? [Don Imus?] The intolerant.
• Before we begin, a disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor, I am a doctor of fine arts. Which means that if you take my advice, your body is in danger of becoming a masterpiece.
• But P.E. is about one thing: Being humiliated by your physically superior classmates. If gym has to have a video game, make it relevant, like ‘Awkward Showering with Peers Revolution.’
• WHAT – What the hell is your book about?! So far, all I can tell is that it’s enviro-porn! Any freaky three-way with a spotted owl in here, anything like that?
• Are you the Batman?

Videos after the cut!