Klassic Kolbert – Episode 4065 (05/13/2008)

The episode we are featuring tonight, was chosen for two reasons: the parody of Bill O’Reilly’s ‘Inside Edition’ meltdown and the gun lobby segment. Stephen’s imitation of Papa Bear’s tantrum never gets old! I find it as funny today as I did the night it originally aired on television. The gun control video is one of my favorites from the “Better Know a Lobby” series. It still amazes me that Stephen did such an effective job of helping the lobbyist prove his point while staying completely in character. I also love watching Stephen discard all of his weapons.

Here are a few notable quotes:

• I can hereby declare with great certainty and confidence, ladies and gentlemen, that the state of the Colbert Nation is strong.
• No, Clinton will not catch Obama in the popular vote. And yes, Obama now also leads in superdelegates. But, the contest will continue. And Nation, this is what the American people want. And I know that, because I read it today, in today’s The USA Today, which ran this headline: “Dems say let the contest continue,” just above this much smaller headline, “But more say Clinton should quit, poll shows.”
• Well done, The USA Today. Thank you for reminding us that this historic primary has not become a manufactured battle, reported long past its relevance in a bald-faced effort to sell newspapers. It is what the people want. Just not most of them.
• Despite efforts to limit the influence of special interests, there are over 35,000 lobbyists in Washington, D.C. A testament to the massive influence of the most powerful lobby of all: the Lobby Lobby.
• Tonight: the gun control lobby. The Fightin’ Pacifists! They may hate guns, but they have no problem blasting holes in the Constitution.
• The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. You are talking about infringing, infringement. There is infringing going on… Infringe, infringe, infringe. Infringe, infringe, infringe, infringe, infringe… You might as well wear a fringe jacket.
• That’s like, just a card you’re playing to win an argument, as opposed to listening to the issues here, which is, “People want guns.” And if you say, “Hey, guns kill a lot of people. Look what happened at Virginia Tech; look what happened at Columbine; look at our leaders who’ve been assassinated; look at how many children are killed every year by playing with guns that were not locked properly; look at couples that kill each other; look how many people in individual families are murdered by members of their own family; look how more likely you are to be killed by a gun that you are keeping in your house than to be able to defend yourself; look how hard it is even for policemen to defend themselves when they are attacked by someone with a weapon…” I mean, I think people are tired of the “a lot of people have been killed by guns” card.
• I’m not saying your theory’s wrong, I’m saying that I reject it. Now defend it.

Please Enjoy!!! Videos after the cut!