Six Degrees: Mekalekahi Meka Hiney Ho

‘Colbert Report’ writer and friend of the blog Frank Lesser has a piece in this week’s Slate magazine that is cute yet off-kilter and slightly demented. Because, well, it’s Frank Lesser. That’s why we adore him ever so. It amuses me that Slate put this in the “Low Concept: Dubious and far-fetched ideas” category. I think that’s a bit of a stretch – we all deserve a slightly off-center snicker now and again.

So go read it already! The bit about the camel made me laugh really hard, and the whole article has an excellent message on how to get along just in time for some Valentine’s Day genie love. Here’s an excerpt:

Rubbing Him the Right Way
How to find the genie of your dreams—and keep him coming back for more.
By Frank Lesser
Posted Thursday, Feb. 12, 2009, at 6:51 AM ET

Whenever I’m out diamond-shopping with my genie, strangers come up to me and say, “You guys seem so happy together. How do you do it?” Well, when Shalazam is out of earshot, I tell them that freeing a magical being from a lamp is easy. Making things last is hard work.

A lot of genies think humans are only interested in one thing: wishes. Prove him wrong. When your new genie offers you three wishes, shrug and tell him, “No thanks, I’m cool right now.” He’ll be puzzled … and intrigued.

A few days later, casually ask your genie for the name of his favorite band. Then, after another week or so, tell your genie that you’d finally like your first wish: two front row tickets to that band’s next show. He’ll be impressed you remembered the little things.

Don’t use up all your wishes on the first night. By the time you get to “third wish,” you want your genie to hang around because he wants to, not because the ancient laws of his race are forcing him to.
Shalazam has been my genie for almost five years, and we’ve never lost the magic. My secret: Sometimes I let him think that he’s the master! Every once in a while, tell your genie how all-powerful he’s been looking. And tell him that you love how his earrings match his lamp handle, even (especially!) if they don’t.

Full text of article