I am calling for an auto bailout, because I drove my car into a lake. This is The Colbert Report!”
Land of Stinkin’: “Tonight, Illinios governor Robert Blagojevich is arrested on corruption charges. It’s going to take a HUGE bribe to get him out of this one.”
- Rob Blagojevich’s corruption charges
- Colbert’s “Nixmas” tree
Nixmas Tree guest: Kevin Bacon, Star – “Frost/Nixon”
Tricky Flick: “Then I look at a new movie about Richard Nixon. It is a lock to win an Oscar, or at least break into the Academy and steal one.”
Charlie’s Angle: “And my guest is writer/director Charlie Kaufman. But I’ve written all my questions for John Malkovich.”
- Charlie Kaufman – Writer and Director, ‘Synecdoche, New York’
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
In closing: “[Perched adorably, putting up the Nixon angel on the Nixtree] Oh hai! That’s it for the Report, everybody don’t forget to see ‘Frost Nixon’ and ‘Synecdoche, New York’. And for heaven’s sake, Oscar voters, sit quietly through the credits. There’s a song in there you’re not going to want to miss. Good night everybody.”
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
More Video Highlights, courtesy of Comedy Central’s Colbert Report website
- Now, I personally am surprised Obama even needed a seat. I thought he just levitated.
- Or you know what, he was probably holding Rue McClanahan for ransom.
- I can only imagine your Facebook status. [Rod is taking bribes]
- No it would not, ’cause he’s not there.
- When I was a kid, Christmas meant one thing to me. Richard Nixon. When I was just four years old, he was elected. But when I heard stories about a man with an obsessive list of who’s naughty or nice, and a team of little helpers who break into places at night, I assumed it was our President.
- And Oh, here’s one of his jowls.
- And I also have my Nixon menorah for those of you who celebrate Nixmukah.
- Poor Nixon, he was completely ambushed by that guy and he couldn’t even take his frustration out on Cambodia.
- [Editor’s Note: HAHAHA Hallelujah chorus for Kevin Bacon.]
- From the Kevin Bacon interview:
- Stephen: I haven’t seen you since you stopped being one of my writers.
Kevin Bacon: Yeah, sorry about that, I got busy.
- Stephen: Why would Nixon sit down for these interviews? Was he trying to promote a movie or something? Why would a great man do that?
Kevin Bacon: $600,000, partly.
Stephen: He got paid?
Kevin Bacon: Yeah.
Stephen: I’m not paying you, am I?
Kevin Bacon: Not as far as I know. There was a nice gift basket, though.
Stephen: Yes. There’s Vodka in there.
- Stephen: Wanna help me trim the Nixmas tree? I’ve got some great garland, it’s 18 minutes of blank tape.
- Jimmy, Let ’em eat space.
- Fun Fract: Charlie Kaufman worked with Stephen Colbert at the ‘Dana Carvey Show‘.
- From the Charlie Kaufman interview:
- Kaufman: Everyone lives in their head.
Stephen: I don’t. No, a big old Vacancy sign on my head. I live here on my face.
- Stephen: Everyone I know around here, everyone I respect, says go see this movie. It’s a great movie. They say it’s challenging at times, as I said it makes you think. What is the movie about, and while we’re at it, please include the words “feel-good” and “sassy chihuahua.”
- Kaufman: The project is never realized, it gets bigger and bigger and um … sexy chihuahua?
Stephen: Bravo, bravo.
Kaufman: Was it sexy? Sassy!
Stephen: It was “sassy chihuahua” but I’ll go with Sexy Chihuahua, it’s still going to put a$$es in the seats.
- Stephen: What happens if I don’t “get” your movie? Am I dumb if I don’t “get” your movie? Cause I don’t “get” some movies. I didn’t get Kung Fu Panda.
- Kaufman: You can’t be wrong – that’s good right?
Stephen: I don’t like being wrong. Am I right?
Kaufman: You can only be right.
Stephen: That’s a movie everyone should see.
Fangirl Suit Report: Navy blue solid suit, light blue shirt with French cuffs, Navy blue tie with tan dotted pattern.