Episode 4158 (12/09/2008)

I am calling for an auto bailout, because I drove my car into a lake. This is The Colbert Report!”

Land of Stinkin’: “Tonight, Illinios governor Robert Blagojevich is arrested on corruption charges. It’s going to take a HUGE bribe to get him out of this one.”

  • Rob Blagojevich’s corruption charges
  • Colbert’s “Nixmas” tree

Nixmas Tree guest: Kevin Bacon, Star – “Frost/Nixon”

Tricky Flick: “Then I look at a new movie about Richard Nixon. It is a lock to win an Oscar, or at least break into the Academy and steal one.”

Charlie’s Angle: “And my guest is writer/director Charlie Kaufman. But I’ve written all my questions for John Malkovich.”

  • Charlie Kaufman – Writer and Director, ‘Synecdoche, New York’


Kevin BaconFrost/Nixon
Charlie KaufmanSynecdoche, New York

In closing: “[Perched adorably, putting up the Nixon angel on the Nixtree] Oh hai! That’s it for the Report, everybody don’t forget to see ‘Frost Nixon’ and ‘Synecdoche, New York’. And for heaven’s sake, Oscar voters, sit quietly through the credits. There’s a song in there you’re not going to want to miss. Good night everybody.”

Video Highlight:

[Coming Soon!]

R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!

NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!

More Video Highlights, courtesy of Comedy Central’s Colbert Report website

[Coming Soon!]


  • Now, I personally am surprised Obama even needed a seat. I thought he just levitated.
  • Or you know what, he was probably holding Rue McClanahan for ransom.
  • I can only imagine your Facebook status. [Rod is taking bribes]
  • No it would not, ’cause he’s not there.
  • When I was a kid, Christmas meant one thing to me. Richard Nixon. When I was just four years old, he was elected. But when I heard stories about a man with an obsessive list of who’s naughty or nice, and a team of little helpers who break into places at night, I assumed it was our President.
  • And Oh, here’s one of his jowls.
  • And I also have my Nixon menorah for those of you who celebrate Nixmukah.
  • Poor Nixon, he was completely ambushed by that guy and he couldn’t even take his frustration out on Cambodia.
  • [Editor’s Note: HAHAHA Hallelujah chorus for Kevin Bacon.]
  • From the Kevin Bacon interview:
    • Stephen: I haven’t seen you since you stopped being one of my writers.
      Kevin Bacon: Yeah, sorry about that, I got busy.
    • Stephen: Why would Nixon sit down for these interviews? Was he trying to promote a movie or something? Why would a great man do that?
      Kevin Bacon: $600,000, partly.
      Stephen: He got paid?
      Kevin Bacon: Yeah.
      Stephen: I’m not paying you, am I?
      Kevin Bacon: Not as far as I know. There was a nice gift basket, though.
      Stephen: Yes. There’s Vodka in there.
    • Stephen: Wanna help me trim the Nixmas tree? I’ve got some great garland, it’s 18 minutes of blank tape.
  • Jimmy, Let ’em eat space.
  • Fun Fract: Charlie Kaufman worked with Stephen Colbert at the ‘Dana Carvey Show‘.
  • From the Charlie Kaufman interview:
    • Kaufman: Everyone lives in their head.
      Stephen: I don’t. No, a big old Vacancy sign on my head. I live here on my face.
    • Stephen: Everyone I know around here, everyone I respect, says go see this movie. It’s a great movie. They say it’s challenging at times, as I said it makes you think. What is the movie about, and while we’re at it, please include the words “feel-good” and “sassy chihuahua.”
    • Kaufman: The project is never realized, it gets bigger and bigger and um … sexy chihuahua?
      Stephen: Bravo, bravo.
      Kaufman: Was it sexy? Sassy!
      Stephen: It was “sassy chihuahua” but I’ll go with Sexy Chihuahua, it’s still going to put a$$es in the seats.
    • Stephen: What happens if I don’t “get” your movie? Am I dumb if I don’t “get” your movie? Cause I don’t “get” some movies. I didn’t get Kung Fu Panda.
    • Kaufman: You can’t be wrong – that’s good right?
      Stephen: I don’t like being wrong. Am I right?
      Kaufman: You can only be right.
      Stephen: That’s a movie everyone should see.

Fangirl Suit Report: Navy blue solid suit, light blue shirt with French cuffs, Navy blue tie with tan dotted pattern.


  1. I loved Kaufman’s reply at the end of one of his statements when he said, “Sexy Chihuahua?” I can’t stress enough how funny the Nixmas tree was — Kevin Bacon looked so confused. Haha!

  2. wildlymissingthemark says:

    apparently kaufman hates to do tv interviews, he has only interviewed with charlie rose in 2004 (according to imdb.) so it is noteworthy that he came on tcr.
    i think he worked with stephen during the dana carvey era.
    why do i know this stuff?!?

    • Um, cause I mentioned the Carvey tie in the guide? :) Didn’t know about the interview phobia, though. Very interesting!

      • wildlymissingthemark says:

        whoops, my bad. i am just wondering what i will do with all of this colbert/tcr trivia i have swirling around my head one day:)

  3. ColbertGirl27 says:

    During the very last segment, Stephen told everyone to go see Frost/Nixon and Synecdoche, New York and recommended that Oscar voters sit through the credits to listen for a song. I have a feeling there was a joke here, but I’m missing it.

    As painful as it is to break down a joke, could someone explain this to me?

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