VIDEO: Stephen Colbert on the ‘Martha Stewart Show’

Finally! I knew if we kept looking hard enough, it would show up. Huge hat top to the Accidental Sexiness blog for going above and beyond for posting these vids to the delight of the Colbert Nation.


  1. One of the questions was was Stephen planning on running in 2012. I can’t remember the others…

  2. Hilarious. Martha has no idea who he is. And he really showed a lot of restraint – “We have to glitter the balls…”

    • Hahah yes, there were SO many opportunities there.

    • ColbertGirl27 says:

      I know!

      He managed to slip in a few innuendos:

      Favorite line (paraphrasing a bit):
      M: “Now take your glue gun and squeeze glue into the hole.”
      S: “That is hot.”

      And he mentioned something about scenting the ball with something. I loved the look on his face (“I know I’m walking the line Martha”) after saying that.

    • wildlymissingthemark says:

      if terry gross is like a 10 on the “it-getting scale,” martha is like a 1 or 2 at best.
      she does get some points with me for watching his show.
      my fav part is when they discussing the silk fabric, and martha calls it something else before saying “slub.”

    • Yeah, I was waiting for something totally inappropriate when they were putting glitter on the balls. Heh.

      Very amusing, and how cool that Feist gave him that sweater. It’s so perfect.

  3. It seemed Stephen was frequently walking in and out of his character the whole time, so he was half truth half truthiness! He probably did this in an effort to throw Martha off–it’s really hard to do that. If you’ve ever seen her do crafting with Conan O’Brien, you know she’s steady as a rock.

    • Yeah he seemed to be going in and out of character as well. Even I was a little confused at some points. Anyone else? Is there a way that I can save these?

  4. I wasn’t able to fit the questions in the same clip. It was quite long. I can post the question portion in a separate clip if you guys want.

    • Yes, please!!!! You rock – I cannot express to you how annoying it is to come home after a hard day’s work and having my TiVo flake out on me. Thanks for getting the whole clip up.

  5. wow, I didn’t realize I missed so much. nice! (and the kids are the kids! cheap! lol)

    I kind of crazily posted at the colboards while watching the questions, so let me see if I can decipher what I wrote.
    OK I don’t have it word for word but the jist of the questions was:
    1) is from Manhattan College, knows lots of students who watch your show religiously, how do you feel about college students getting their news from you show?
    2) this is word for word cuz the grammar was weird: “is it hard to play a character so different of how you actually are? ”
    3) will you commit to run in 2012? (with the followup: with Martha as VP?)
    4) do you have any picks for cabinet?

    I believe that was it. the questioners except for the 2012 person were all from Manhattan college and made it known.

    are you interested in the answers (or at least the idea of them) as well?

    edit: hahahaha made obsolete! (but am not complaining!)

  6. It’s happened to me before! I am editing it right quick. Good thing you replied I was just about to go to bed.


  7. Are you posting the question parts? We love you for doing this.

  8. The TiVos are plotting against us! That kiss reminded me a bit of the freaky three way with Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinman.

  9. ColbertGirl27 says:

    I watched the show earlier today and found it very surreal. Very much a “when worlds collide” event. Martha runs her show with an iron fist, but I loved how Stephen tried making trouble. Based on the Q&A, I didn’t find the audience particularly it-getting, but I wasn’t too surprised as this is a different venue. We’ve all heard those questions before, but we’re already in the zone:)

    How sweet that Feist gave Stephen that sweater! Now was that before or after she received a spot on the special;)

    When Stephen told Martha she was beautiful, I believe that was both “Stephen” and Stephen speaking to her which leads me to further believe that Tina Fey was referring to Stephen rather than Steve when suggesting one was a ladies’ man.

    • Flatpoint Grief Counselor says:

      I have to chip in here: I thought Stephen was completely in character when he told Martha she was a very beautiful woman — which made me laugh hysterically! He even tipped it off that he was in character (watch carefully).

      On the ladies man subject: I believe I can prove that Steve Carrell was the ladies man, and if there is enough interest in this, I will be happy to write an article about it.

      • yes, please. write on it! :)

      • yes! by all means =P

      • Yes, do tell!

      • laughing at nothing says:

        I believe Stephen may have been in character, but he was sincere. He’s not the kind of man who would directly compliment a woman about being beautiful as a joke.

      • ColbertGirl27 says:

        I’m waiting for the article;)

        • Ms Interpreted says:

          For what it’s worth, I think the reason we haven’t engaged in a lot of that speculation here is because it falls into the category of Stephen’s personal life (see FAQ #3). I know these comments have been in good fun and are based on an open and amusing hint Tina Fey gave in a very public venue, but this is the kind of topic that is very hard for us to moderate and can spin out of control quickly. Because of that, I’d like to ask that we let the matter drop before it spirals out of control, at least here at NFZ.

          Thanks for helping us keep the site to more harmless fan topics!

    • DJ Jazzy Flax says:

      wait, i’m drawing a blank here. when did tina fey refer to stephen & not steve as a ladies’ man?

      • ColbertGirl27 says:

        Tina Fey never revealed which man was the ladies’ man. That’s the mystery!

      • DJ Jazzy Flax: When Tina Fey was a guest on TCR she told a story about being at Second City when both Stephen and Steve were there and said one of them was a *real* ladies man. Jon guessed it was Stephen. Then during a pre-toss conversation between Jon and Stephen (as reported by a member of the audience who got to witness it) Stephen said it was Steve (in a much more colorful way I’m not going to repeat.)

        So… was Stephen hiding his own past or telling the truth about Steve?

        • Ms Interpreted says:

          Actually, it was when Tina Fey was on TDS, not TCR, but the rest is accurate. ;)

          The statement obviously spawned hours of speculation, and people came down on both sides of the argument, depending on their preference.

  10. Smee – I think she just doesn’t know how to handle or how to be funny…

    As for restraint – If asked to have Martha as my VP, I would have to ask if a convicted felon could be VP. I was waiting for Stephen to say something but he’s much nicer than I am (or they cut it from the segment??? ;P )

    • lol, i know, im sorry for my harsh language, (I just drank a Red Bull). I just think Martha doesnt research her own guests or even cares about them, if they dont suck up to her. So in my own overprotective way i was mad on Stephens behalf.

  11. wildlymissingthemark says:

    i think if Terry Gross is a 10 on the “it-getting” scale, Martha Stewart is like a 1 or at best a 2.

    it was weird seeing Stephen doing crafts, but of course adorable, and I loved the sweater.

  12. Stephen Colbert and public crafting equals pure joy! I don’t particularly care for Martha Stewart, but I am huge crafter (so much so that my freshman hall nicknamed me Martha) and seeing Stephen participate in my favorite hobby was made of win :)

  13. Splendiferous_Zeppelin says:

    This is hilarious. I don’t know whether to feel sorry for Martha or scorn her. She watches his show all the time yet doesn’t know how to pronounce its name? Has she skipped out on *every* table of contents in which Stephen yells at the camera “THIS IS THE COLBERT REPORT”? *rolls eyes* I wish celebrities wouldn’t pretend they watch shows when they really don’t…but anyway. Poor Martha just doesn’t know how to it-get, I guess… It was a really really fun segment though. I enjoyed it a lot; thanks for posting.

    His kids looked adorable.

  14. I liked the part where she was making fun of Toby Keith rejecting Stephen at the mistletoe!

    (I am surprised by how much she doesn’t annoy me. I’m weird.)

  15. I love how Stephen kept acting like he wanted to cook something. “So, do we have one of these already in the oven baking?” Haha! He looked so cute in that sweater. That’s cool how Feist had it made for him.

  16. I loved it when after Martha made a sour face about the gay kissing innuendo in Stephen’s special when he retorted, “But it would be OK if it was!”

    • Oh my gosh, you caught that too! When they were talking about Toby Keith and the whole kissing thing, and Stephen made that last comment, “But it would be OK if it was.”, I flipped out and started jumping up and down. Hehe! XD
      Well, I think that was a DEFINITE tip of what is going to happen in the Christmas special tomorrow! (I know DB gave a hint too earlier this week, but to hear the hint from Stephen himself is even more exciting!) I am still pacing around, wondering who would Stephen make-out with? If its not Jon, then who? Hmmmm…

      • ColbertGirl27 says:

        Are we positive that even Stephen is involved in the make-out session? If not, I will be sorely disappointed:(

        • Hmm… I’ve always assumed it was with Stephen. The way DB had hinted it in “The Top 10 Reasons to buy A Colbert Christmas” made me think it was with Stephen. But, yeah, it might not involve him at all. But I don’t want to think that!
          I will be VERY sad and disappointed too if Stephen does not take part in the kiss. :-(
          *crosses fingers that Stephen does*

  17. mrtigger001 says:

    I just watched part 1 and I love the part where Martha’s like “It’s got that slut in it” and Stephen’s incredulous, “It’s called slut?? Well, Merry Christmas to YOU…”

  18. Thank you for posting this video, I enjoyed it thoroughly! I love these two together, they have a great Margaret Dumont/Groucho Marx thing going on here.

    BTW had Martha been into the eggnog before the taping? Confusing “slut” with “slub” is so out of character for Miss-Know-It-All.

    • ColbertGirl27 says:

      Oh! Someone knows who Margaret Dumont is! I’m impressed. Nice parallel:)

      • Not so impressive given my age! (The Marx Brothers were a cult classic for baby boomers – and shown regularly on late night TV 30 years ago). A “Tip o’ my Hat” to anyone under 30 that caught the reference though!

        • ColbertGirl27 says:

          I’m under 30! Yay me! I love old movies so I keep track of important things like this:)

  19. is there an alternate link to the videos?its not loading

  20. dodgerblu31 says:

    wow…that was kind of strange to watch. Stephen had to tone down his personality soooo much. I thought it was hilarious when Martha told him that she just ignores anything that she doesn’t want to hear. I’m willing to bet that if she had ever watched one of Stephen’s shows, there is NO WAY that she would have had him as a guest, being that he is so unpredictable and loves to cause trouble!

    • :D my mom works as an elementary school principal and loves to think about how Stephen and Jon would likely have been little devils at school — causing trouble left and right but winning everyone over with their innocent looks XD.

  21. I loved it how Stephen turned into a little kid with the container of glitter.

    *Pours entire container of glitter on one little ball*
    Stephen: “One.”


    • I loved that too! Martha’s “enough…enough…enough!” lent to the humor.

      Good job, Stephen! Pine cones are so naked without glitter.

  22. I thought it was funny that Martha thought Feist was a guy and Stephen had to correct her.

    BTW speaking of cabinet positions I did hear of one that Stephen would be perfect for.

    It seems that the Obama administration plans to anoint a Pundit Laureate every year. The PL, as he or she will be known, will blather on and on, repeating conventional wisdom on all topics far and wide – none of which he or she will have any qualifications on which to pontificate.

    It certainly fits what he already does so as the song goes “all he has to do is act naturally” so he’s a shoe in for it

  23. imoldfashioned says:

    I just got a chance to watch this and I’m shaking my head at how a human being can have less of a sense of humor than Martha Stewart. That segment was like a parody–the overly elaborate project, her seriousness, “…botanically correct. It’s all about botany” I loved how the audience was so evenly spaced and not touching too–the whole thing was really bizarre and such the opposite of TCR. Stephen was great though, as always; I thought he was really nice–he didn’t take half the comic openings he could have. I especially loved the little clap before the end of the 1st clip and the “you go to hell”. And another yay for the “It wouldn’t be bad” comment.

If you're new to our Zoner community, please read the No Fact Zone Comment Policy before commenting. Thank you!