So you’ve heard the hype. You’ve seen the reviews. You’ve read the censored squees of the fans who have already seen the special at the early screenings. “But they’re going to play it on TV – for free!”, you may be thinking. “I’ll just save the special on my TiVo – why fork out the $19.99 to buy the DVD?”
You would be very, very wrong. You simply must have “A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift Of All” DVD in your permanent collection. And let me give you ten very compelling reasons why you simply must do so.
SPOILER ALERT: Beyond this point, there will be mild spoilers and tons of teasers. And a fair bit of fangirling. You have been officially warned.
10) Portions of every sale go to charity – FeedingAmerica.com
It’s always wonderful when you can feed your fandom by helping to feed the hungry in this country. Here’s a short description of the Feeding America charity, from their website:
Feeding America is the nation’s leading domestic hunger-relief charity
Each year, the Feeding America network provides food assistance to more than 25 million low-income people facing hunger in the United States, including more than 9 million children and nearly 3 million seniors.
Our network of more than 200 food banks serves all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.The Feeding America network secures and distributes more than 2 billion pounds of donated food and grocery products annually.
The Feeding America network supports approximately 63,000 local charitable agencies that distribute food directly to Americans in need. Those agencies operate more than 70,000 programs including food pantries, soup kitchens, emergency shelters, after-school programs, Kids Cafes, Community Kitchens and BackPack Programs.
9) Stephen Colbert wants you to buy the DVD
And the iTunes songs, and don’t forget to get a few extra copies of the DVD for family and friends. You want the Colbert children to be able to eat, don’t you? The song “Another Christmas Song” is dedicated to shamelessly pandering for your endless business. It also features jazz hands, juggling, and the cutest sleigh ride I have ever seen.
8) The coolest Advent calendar ever
If anyone wondered the intentions of Stephen and company before viewing the DVD, a quick glance at this DVD extra proves that this DVD was custom made for us. And by “Us” I mean the insatiable Colbert Nation.
There’s 25 tiny vignettes featuring Stephen, both in his Christmas cabin and at the ‘Colbert Report’ studios. There’s yet another wonderful song featured in these daily bites (“Rock Lobster” – Hahahahahah!). And after December 8th, you’ll never look at M&Ms the same again.
7) “Cold, Cold Christmas”
Remember the first time you saw “Charlene (I’m Right Behind You)”? Then remember that burning in your bosom the first time you saw “Singin’ in Korean”? Remember that simple, fangirl joy when hearing “The Girl is Mine” for the first time?
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
6) Book-Burning yule log
I’ve always been a fan of fake flames. Being in a fireplace-free tragically hip loft, I find it a very soothing alternative to the real thing. But as you relax next to your faux fire, watch the books. After about Minute 10, start paying attention to the books being tossed on the fire. And feel for that poor intern who had to toss the book into the fire ever so, in order to make sure that the covers were visible.
5) Totally Amazing Alternate Endings
The DVD features three extremely amusing alternate endings. One even features late night basic cable’s Jon Stewart. And, yes, it’s adorable.
4) “Cold, Cold Christmas”
I cannot stress this enough. This song is worth every penny of the DVD. I’ve talked to some very reliable sources who have told me that the DVD extras, with the exception of a few of the Advent calendar segments, are not going to be posted online. The only place you’re going to be able to see this song is if you buy the DVD. And you have to see this song, in all of its Cowboy-adorned no-glasses kerchiefed glory. Over and over.
I’m serious.
3) Jon and Stephen – together again
Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have always shared an amazing chemistry that makes their appearances together simply magical. Jon and Stephen’s duet “Can I Interest You In Hannukah?” is sweet and cute and funny and adorable and I just loved it. Just LOVED it. The bittersweet ending of the song is too sugary sweet to be missed.
2) Nutmeg
I’ve been a fan of John Legend ever since his first appearance on ‘The Colbert Report’. You really need to check out his latest album, ‘Evolver’. It’s quite excellent.
John’s song doesn’t disappoint here, either. His voice truly is buttery, and “Nutmeg” definitely made me crave a creamy cup of eggnog. I will never be able to walk down the spice aisle of my grocery store again without snerking. Plus the Legend segment featured one of my favorite lines in the entire special – “There’s enough rum in here to blind a pirate.” Only John Legend could wear a Forest Ranger outfit and make it look saucy.
1) “Cold, Cold Christmas”
Screw it, I’m releasing my inner fangirl.
ZOMG SINGING COLBERT IN THE MOUNTAINS!!! His voice is so wonderful with this song, and he’s so cute with his little guitar and fake guitar playing, and his bad lip synching, and his monologue is heartbreakingly funny. And his little kerchief and his beyond adorable sheepskin lined denim jacket- Joy!! And the song – Oh the song! When I got to the end of the song the first time I watched it, I got down on my knees and thanked Baby Jesus for this absolutely wonderful song. And then I watched it again.
GOOD GOD PEOPLE!!! When the DVD comes out, *this* will be the song that the fans will be talking and raving about. You need to be a part of this. It’s that good. Is it possible to wear out a DVD? I worry about these things.
Fangirl out.
Also, when you’re watching, pay attention to the details. Keep your eye out for:
- The “Colbert” crocheted throw
- The “Me” portrait in crayon on the fridge
- The books to be burned for the fireplace
- The bottle of Colbert wine (which, if you watch the ‘Colbert Report’, now resides on the set)
- A copy of “I Am America (And So Can You!)”
- The price tag on Stephen’s sweater on the DVD cover and menu picture (and the security tag on his pants)
- Those adorable vagabond children, they might look a bit familiar
- Toby Keith’s collar
- The wires on the light saber
- Photo Not Available
- A totally hot make-out scene (with tongue!)
- The amazing disappearing and reappearing dining room table
- The “C” wreath
Have I sufficiently convinced you yet?
I’M SO EXCITEDDDDD
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I cannot wait.
!!!!!!!!!
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I am not good at responding to this level of excitement; I’m probably straining my adrenal glands with silent squeeing! I shan’t say more so as to maintain my public facade of relative normality…
however, I just realized that I am leaving for my Thanksgiving voyaging on Wednesday, and I’m not coming back home until Sunday! (yay for 5 day weekends) BUT! what if my DVD from Amazon hasn’t shipped by then?! I will be very upset if I have to miss out on the forecasted squeefest that is Cold, Cold Christmas. this is making me cranky.
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I can’t wait either. I pre-ordered the DVD via the NFZ (but, of course!). I know I’ll watch it, and watch it, and watch it…
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MUST SEE NOW! I’M GOING TO LOSE IT! MUST MAINTAIN COOL FACADE!
Thanks for sharing all of these great teasers DB!
“A totally hot make-out scene (with tongue!)”
?!
So many possibilities! As long as Stephen is involved;)
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Between this upcoming special, TCR and Stephen’s many guest spots this week, I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate at work. It’s going to be painful.
I pre-ordered the DVD through NFZ quite awhile ago…which says a lot since I NEVER pre-order anything:)
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Message for the Brits: Amazon charge the earth for postage and my usual source playusa.com does not have this DVD in stock (I asked, I begged, nada). But I did find it with free postage for £14.99 at cdwow.com, which is particularly useful as you can pay via PayPal.
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Dude, thank you so much for the info! I’m in Belgium and I really didn’t want to pay all that extra postage through Amazon. cdwow also has a branch in The Netherlands (close enough), so I, too, get free shipping. \o/
My order is placed.
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DB, this is the best review I’ve ever read for anything. You almost convinced me to order it again.
I’m serious.
As for the Nutmeg song – it won’t make me feel guilty every time I use my nutmeg grater, will it?
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HAHA, maybe. :D
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It’ll make you feel…somethin’ that’s for sure! ;)
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“Totally hot makeout scene with tongue”
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Cold, Cold Christmas sounds so good, I can’t wait!
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THAT’S THE BEST REVIEW EVER!!! I don’t know what to do now, I told my sis to get me this for Christmas, but I don’t think I can hold out till then, and I’m not in need of anything else…. What to do, pre-order or not? HELP!!!
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Ask the sis to get you this for Christmas, but get it NOW!
This waiting for Xmas thing is overrated.
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A totally hot make-out scene (with tongue!)
I just laughed myself silly over this, again.
I desperately want to see “Cold, Cold Christmas.” I’m also curious about Willie Nelson’s appearance, because that hadn’t been taped yet when I went to the screening. We had to settle for having Stephen describe it to us.
I forgot that line about the rum! Hahaha!
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This is def. the kind of show that will need, no DEMAND, repeated viewings. And you will giggle, sigh and laugh with each one.
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OMG
Excellent fannish review. I pre-ordered through the site a couple days ago and I am very happy with the decision to not simply watch it on TV like I usually would.
This make-out scene, you say… omg I cannot wait. *hopes its between who she thinks it could very well be*
And Cold Cold Christmas!!
You are so lucky to have seen it already. Thanks for sharing. <3
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Trust me on this one, you’ll NEVER see the big kiss coming.
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For the record, it’s not like me to get all fangirlish, but this DVD has encouraged a glaring exception. Every time I hear more, I squee louder and thank whatever deity listening for Stephen Colbert. I’m just glad to have you all since my other friends might try to have me committed if they knew exactly how excited I am for this.
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I really struggled when writing this review, quite honestly. There was no way I could write a whole review of ZOMG CHRISTMAS SPECIAL FTW WTF BBQ!!!!! It’s just not … ladylike, you know?
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If you had written a review like that, I would’ve thought “wow, DB’s gone off the deep end” but I also would’ve laughed my butt off. Because the thought of your insanity amuses me. ;-)
Did I understand you correctly above, the songs are going to be available on iTunes?
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Yes, it’s my understanding that they will be on iTunes, although I haven’t heard anything about when exactly. I’m not sure if “Cold, Cold Christmas” will be available, but here’s hoping it is. This song MUST be on my iPod, as soon as humanly possible.
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I just checked my iTunes store and they have “A Colbert Christmas” album available to pre-order. “A Cold, Cold Christmas” is on the playlist! EXPECTED release date is November 25.
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BBQ??
DB, that’s the funniest ending I’ve seen on an exclamation in some time. It’s excellent.
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HOT MAKE-OUT SCENE!!! (I wont lie, It’s something u’ll NEVER expect…!)
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I’m laughing so hard at your TEASE about the makeout. Goodness me!
I’m also having a very hard time taking Feist’s advice (“Please be Patient”) … especially when I think of the “Nutmeg” song, etc. :)
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HAHAHA the makeout scene. DB, you tease! Zoners, you have no idea what you’re in for.
Once again, Stephen proves that he knows EXACTLY what the fans want. Especially the fangirls. I can’t wait to watch Stephen and Jon’s lovely duet again.
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Awesome review—I was laughing through tears by the end.
No mention of Mr. Elvis Costello though . . . hope he doesn’t disappoint!
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Oh, he doesn’t! He’s in it more than the other guests, and he’s wonderful. I hope Stephen has him on the show sometime, he’d be a great guest.
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Elvis was great and he had a decent amount of airtime in the preview I saw (but that’s all I’m sayin’ since I don’t want Sumner comin’ after me).
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Sweet Jesus Christ on a Waffle Cone! These teasers are driving me crazy! Must… see… this… special!
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This is at the top of my wish list!
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@ColbertGirl27
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
*happy dance*
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I’m so excited to a receive a YAY! from you! I’m assuming it’s in reaction to the songs being available on iTunes:)
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I was lucky enough to see one of the previews of the special and all I can say is BUY IT. Even if it didn’t have all the extras (which I am squeeing over) it is worth every penny. I cannot wait until the thing is broadcast so I can go into great detail over all the facets of wonderful that make up this show. Come on Amazon, ship this puppy already!
The songs on iTunes!! There are two in particular I’ve been humming ever since the preview.
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I desperately want to see “Cold, Cold Christmas.” I’m also curious about Willie Nelson’s appearance, because that hadn’t been taped yet when I went to the screening. We had to settle for having Stephen describe it to us.
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HOT Make-Out Scene (wirth tongue?) !!!!
OMG… Please be with Jon, Please be with Jon, Please be with Jon…!!!! *on my knees and praying to God*
Only four more days until it broadcasts, and then I will get my DVD in the mail too!
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It’s not Jon.
As for your prayer …
*Pleeeeese be patient. An authorized prayer technician will be with you shortly.*
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Darn it! Man, I was really hoping it was going to be with Jon… :-(
But I’m still excited about seeing it. Though, who else would Stephen make out with? With whom, it would be stated as a HOT Make-Out Scene?
John Legend, there’s a possibility for that being kind of HOT. But Willie Nelson or Elvis Costello or Toby Keith… dear God No! But that’s just me.
*I’m still on HOLD!* ;-)
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One of these days. One of these days….
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