Episode 4143 (11/4/2008): The Final Endgame Alpha Action Go Time Lift-Off Decide-icidal Hungry Man’s Extreme Raw Power Ultimate Voteslam Smackdown ‘08 No Mercy: Judgment Day ‘08

The “Indecision 2008: America’s Choice” was a first for both ‘The Daily Show’ and ‘The Colbert Report’. The show, scheduled for 10:00 PM, EST was the first show with both Jon and Stephen anchoring from the same desk. And, in addition to the hour-long time slot allotted to Stewart and Colbert, they were also broadcasting live. The jokes came fast and furious, and according to writer Barry Julien, much more material was written than could ever be used. Jon Stewart made headlines as being the first Comedian to ever call a race live on the air. Seeing both Jon and Stephen visibly moved after the announcement of Barack Obama was a huge moment for the show.

Full video of the episode, courtesy of Hulu:

Click here for more video highlights, courtesy of Comedy Central’s Colbert Report website

Quotes, screencaps and more after the cut!

Notable quotes:

• Stephen Colbert: America’s Choice?
  Jon Stewart: That’s right, America’s Choice.
  Stephen Colbert: That’s not the name of an election special, that’s a generic supermarket brand. They make, like, Raisin Flakes, and Twankies.
  Jon Stewart: Protest registered, Stephen, well done, let’s move on …
  Stephen Colbert: No, let’s move up. Chuck, juice it!
  
  Jon Stewart: Is that all you got? Well, my friend you brought a spoon to a spork fight. Chuck, JUICE IT!!
  
  Stephen Colbert: Jon, did you set fire to Dick Gephardt?
  Jon Stewart: That’s right, Stephen, we lit former Majority leader of the house, Dick Gephardt, on fire. And then we blew him up.
  Stephen Colbert: Kudos.
  Jon Stewart: Thank you.
• Stephen Colbert: I salute the two ladies with the ExtrEEEEEEEEme taste of Mountain Dew. Because they are ExtrEEEEEmly susceptible to osteoporosis.
• Jon Stewart: New York has gone to Barack Obama, New York, clearly once again not understanding the danger that it’s in from terrorists.
  Stephen Colbert: This one’s no surprise, Jon. McCain was never going to win New York. The city that never sleeps will not support a man who goes to bed at 7:30 at night.
• Jon Stewart: I don’t want to say anything, but the deer that just walked in looks a little jumpy, Jason, a little jumpy.
  Jason Jones [Obama Headquarters]: He is. A lot of these woodland creatures are apprehensive about a possible McCain/Palin administration. Fun fact for you, Jon – Governor Palin actually killed this little guy’s mother by bow hunting from a hang glider. It was a dick move, but a hell of a shot.
• John Oliver [Senior Electoral Correspondent]: First, may I say I am overawed by the majesty of your constitutional system, this peaceful transfer of power wherein two men vie to grab the reigns of the most powerful nation on earth and guide it into the new millennium. A responsibility to mankind, both great and noble.
  Jon Stewart: I’m going to out on a limb here, John, and say your visa’s up, isn’t it?
  John Oliver [Senior Electoral Correspondent]: You know it is, and I would appreciate you not bringing up now.
• John Oliver [Senior Electoral Correspondent]: The incoming president is inheriting a multi-layered problem. One layer being a debt to China so enormous the Chinese are now legally allowed to keep you as pets.
• Stephen Colbert: The Rhino and the Golden Helmet don’t mean anything, but I personally don’t know anything about Rhode Island, so that’s the best we could do on short notice. I wanted it to be exciting.



• Stephen Colbert: By the way, Jon, I just want everyone out there to know that I am also liveblogging all night long. So while you’re watching me, read me. What do you have going on over there, grandpa?
  Jon Stewart: I wrote some stuff down on cards, and then I was gonna …
  Stephen Colbert: Cards? What are you, Amish?
  Jon Stewart: What are you … what are you blogging?
  Stephen Colbert: I was just alerting my fans that I will be twittering tonight.
  Jon Stewart: What are you twittering?
  Stephen Colbert: Tweets.



• Aasif Mandvi [Senior Foreign Correspondent]: And, there’s a damning You Tube clip that’s gone viral here. [Obama: We will kill Bin Laden, we will crush Al Quaida] Kill Bin Laden? Crush Al Quaida? Some people here perceive that as a veiled threat to Osama Bin Laden and Al Quaida.
• Stephen Colbert: Hold on a second, Aasif, Stephen Colbert here, quick question. Halahimblalahaiheloausilahim ….
  Aasif Mandvi [Senior Foreign Correspondent]: What the hell is that? Is that a fake urdu, that’s not even a language, that’s just making weird sounds.
  Stephen Colbert: Okay, he checks out.
• Jon Stewart: And the terrorists over 30?
  Aasif Mandvi [Senior Foreign Correspondent]: You don’t know much about terrorism, do you, Jon?
• Jon Stewart: Larry, what are you doing
  Larry Wilmore [Senior Black Correspondent]: Whatever I want.
• Stephen Colbert: I look forward to working with you.
  Larry Wilmore [Senior Black Correspondent]: Working with me?
  Stephen Colbert: From my show ‘The Colbert Report’.
  Larry Wilmore [Senior Black Correspondent]: Oh, you know, that reminds me. Let’s check with our good friend Wyatt tonight at the Cenac Agenda. Wyatt, how are you?
  Wyatt Cenac [Host, 'The Cenac Agenda']: I’m just polishing up my desk. It’s shape in a C, for Cenac! Ok, Nation, who’s ready for a Cenac Attack?! Yes!
  Stephen Colbert: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
• [Editor's note: I found it really hard to watch the Hawaii monologue, knowing was was coming up next. I got a lump in my throat just thinking about it while doing this guide.]

Jon Stewart: I would just like to say, and that’s a beautiful sentiment that you’re making, at 11:00 tonight, Eastern Standard Time, the president of the United States is Barack Obama.



• Jon Stewart: First of all, it will be fine. Second of all, why aren’t you wearing pants?
  Rob Riggle: Don’t criticize my grieving process, Stewart!
• Aasif Mandvi [Senior Foreign Correspondent]: Jon, Jon, please don’t let it end! Anything but that!
  Jon Stewart: Aasif, you’re in Pakistan!
  Aasif Mandvi [Senior Foreign Correspondent]: I am too upset to be confined by your logic right now, Jon!
• Wyatt Cenac [Host, 'The Cenac Agenda']: Hey, I’ve been here for, like, four months, and this has been nuts, right? High five!
• John Oliver: You’re mad!
  Samantha Bee: He’s not mad, he’s crazy!
  John Oliver: Mad means crazy.
  Samantha Bee: Oh, okay.
• Jon Stewart: Follow me to freedom! [singing while running offstage] There’s got to be a morning after ….
• Rob Riggle: So this is what the world looks like after President Bush.
  Stephen Colbert: Actually, Bush is still president for another two and a half months.

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