Top Ten ‘Colbert Report’ Prop Malfunctions
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One thing is certain about Stephen Colbert – he is as funny and graceful in failure as he is in success. His Emmy losses have been a source of endless amusement (“Manilow!“), and losing to Rain brought us the wonderful dance-off that is definitely one of the funniest thing the show has ever done.
While we hope with all of our hearts that Stephen and the ‘Colbert Report’ writers win the Emmy this year, we can take solace that no one can turn a lemon into sweet, refreshing lemonade quite like Colbert. No matter who gets what statue this weekend, it will end up being brilliant in the end.
To keep us amused this weekend as we wait for the Emmy awards to start on Sunday night, No Fact Zone brings you some of the smaller glasses of lemonade that Stephen has served up to us, the Top Ten ‘Colbert Report’ prop malfunctions. The videos are after the break – enjoy!
h/t Jenny with a Y for helping me dig up some of these long-lost vids
10) The roulette wheel
During the writer’s strike, everyone wondered how exactly Stephen was going to fill 30 minutes every night until the writers got back. He got his answer in this sketch – malfunctioning props.
9) Droids
I was quite disappointed that I couldn’t find anything descent at the Sharper Image bankruptcy sale in my local mall. But I take comfort in knowing that I’ll always have the malfunctioning R2D2 droid.
8) Manischewitz wine
Poor Stephen’s desk. Between this wonderful prop flub and the beer that toppled, his desk must smell like a brewery.
7) Axe Body Spray
Seeing as how I graduated from high school in 1989, I’m well over the age of the Axe Body Spray demographic and have never had the pleasure of being overwhelmed by the scents that “will make beautiful women dry hump [you] in elevators.” But seeing Stephen’s reaction to the scent is pretty much all I need to know about the product.
6) Catholic incense censer
I love any and every reference to Catholicism, but this one is exceptionally cute considering he claimed to be an altar boy for 11 years. I’m not sure if that’s Stephen or “Stephen” making that claim, but it’s amusing just the same.
5) Mousetrap
While the grit-off challenge was amusing, the mousetrap releasing and scaring the bejeezus out of Stephen was much, much better. Waiting for that thing to go off was a real nail-biter.
4) Radio channeling John Lennon
I love British accents, and one on Stephen is just lovely. If you want to hear more of Stephen speaking with that accent, check out this episode of the Dana Carvey Show.
3) Inflatable Condom
The genuine startle that Stephen shows when the condom exploded made me jump a little the first time I saw it. But his graceful save after the “pop” is just a thing of beauty.
2) Blender
We’re used to having bears as the #1 threat in the ThreatDown. But when the bears start attacking I Am America (And So Can You!), that’s more than Stephen can stand, and he fights back. Unfortunately, the bears aren’t through with him yet. Althoughhe finally gets it to work, the original malfunction is amazingly funny. (Also funny? The massive phallus used as a prop in this sketch.)
1) iPod Nano
The malfunctioning iPod Nano in this ‘Colbert Platinum’ segment is, ironically, pure comedy gold. I think what sealed the deal is when, in making an attempt to stifle his giggles, Stephen gingerly scratches his dimple in thought. Adorable! And quite funny, to boot.
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16 Comments
September 20th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
DB,
You’re right. It is the perfect post. :)
So you were able to find the video or did you substitute?
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September 20th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Actually, Jenny with a Y did some digging and found it. It was there, just amazingly mislabled. I was heartbroken when I couldn’t find it after putting so much work into this post. But Jenny with a Y came to the rescue and saved my arse. Again.
Yay Jenny!!!
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September 20th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I still can’t believe he really thought he could get a book to liquify in a blender.
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September 20th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
I know! I’ve gone back and watched that at least 2 or 3 dozen times.
The first time I watched it all I could think of is, “Oh no. There’s not nearly as much liquid as there should be. There’s no way that blender’s going to blend.” I actually covered my eyes somewhat because I knew what was about to ensue.
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September 20th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
YAYYYY I was there for the blender one :D :D :D
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September 21st, 2008 at 12:11 am
haha, awesome series! thanks so much for putting it together!
as a new show-watcher, one of my first eps I can remember was the one with the roulette malfunction and I remember finding it quite endearing!
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September 21st, 2008 at 12:19 am
The John Lennon sketch is one of the first that I distinctly remember watching.
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September 21st, 2008 at 12:24 am
Hey, @h., I was there for the blender one as well. I’m pretty sure that I can hear myself laughing in the audience. I’d forgotten that that episode contained a blurred out dildo AND bleeped out cussing! And really, it was some electrical issue, because they did get it it blend after a long break.
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September 21st, 2008 at 12:46 am
Tomorrow I am going to search for the one where he screwed up some funny name and lost a $50 bet. Man he lost it there.
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September 21st, 2008 at 12:52 am
Haha, oh man, that is such a great countdown! Thanks for putting that together. Those videos are too hilarious. I remember during the iPod one I was totally laughing like, “don’t you know how to use an iPod, Colbert?!” because he clearly kept pressing the center button, when he needed to press the bottom button to get it to play lol.
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September 21st, 2008 at 2:09 am
Haha one of the best countdowns ever! The episode with the blender was the first on I ever saw! I forgot about the blurred dildo as well. LOL.
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September 21st, 2008 at 5:18 am
That embedded player never seems to work.. :(
As a workaround I used the video’s id with “http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/” which seems to work.
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September 21st, 2008 at 5:48 am
Also some classic Jon Stewart: http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?s=&showtopic=1162733&view=findpost&p=10820784
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September 21st, 2008 at 2:04 pm
I was thinking, it’s not exactly malfunction (so it wouldn’t fit this list) but a fun moment from a broken product was when that Harley Davidson candle thing was really flimsy and the guest was saying how it was broken, and Stephen said it was because he blew it so hard, and then the audience was like “ohhhh” and Stephen was like “oh my god.”
(what also makes me smile is that if you search the TCR site for “candle” it is first result. I love their searching now, it doesn’t make me figure out anything, I just type in what I want to see!)
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September 21st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
oh yeah, that was a pretty good one! There have been so many good prop malfunctions on the show.
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September 21st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
The perfect post, I must agree!
These are all really funny. :)
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