Episode 4107 (8/26/2008)

To the Democrats in the Mile High City: Remember, if you drink liquor at that altitude, you might become interesting. This is The Colbert Report!”

Things to Do in Denver If You’re Dem: “Tonight, the Democratic national convention kicks off in Denver. Big news for sister cities, Sodom and Gomorrah.”

• Burning Man festival confusion
• Michelle Obama’s Speech

Green Achers: “Plus, the Democratic convention has gone green. Don’t worry, the Republican convention is still going to be all white.”

• The Greening of the DNC
• Desk Guest: Bob Barr, Libertarian candidate for president

Defeat the Press: “And, my guest is former White House press secretary, Scott McClellan. It will be a great interview if he just sticks to the talking points I gave him.”

• Scott McClellan – Former Secretary of State; Author, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception

THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:

Scott McClellan - What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception

In closing: “Well, that’s it for the show. We’ve got to go, but stay tuned for … wow. I never really thought about what’s on the air after my show isn’t on. I honestly have no idea what they’re going to show next. I think it’s an indian doing the Lord’s Prayer or something, I don’t know. Good night.”

Video Highlight:

Bob Barr
Libertarian Bob Barr talks about his presidential campaign, and sharing a cigar with Al Gore.

R.A.P.S. – Click here to talk about the episode!

NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!

More Video Highlights, courtesy of Comedy Central’s Colbert Report website

• Full Video Episode – Tuesday August 26, 2008
• Intro – 8/26/08: The Democratic National Convention kicks off in Denver — big news for sister cities Sodom and Gomorrah.
• Burning Man Festival Confusion: Stephen confuses footage of the Burning Man festival with the Democratic National Convention.
• Michelle Obama’s Speech: Bill Kristol isn’t the only commentator who saw through Michelle Obama’s facade of warmth, competence and likability.
• Bob Barr: Libertarian Bob Barr talks about his presidential campaign, and sharing a cigar with Al Gore.
• Anniversary Pandering: The Democrats exploit the anniversaries of the 19th Amendment and Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech.
• Scott McClellan: Scott McClellan and Stephen try to get President Bush on the phone.
• Up Next: Stephen’s never actually thought about what’s on the air after his show.

NOTABLE MOMENTS

• Need more proof I’m in Denver? Here is a Denver omelet. You can only get that around here. And here’s a Denver Broncos hat. Bought that right that right over there, on Denver street. Denver!
• [The Burning Man video]
• And of course, there was a touching tribute to Senator Edward Kennedy, and the night concluded with Hillary Clinton and her supporters torching the Pepsi center.
• If my gaffe offended, I apologize … to Burning Man.
• To be fair, Bill Krystol does not actually have a heart of stone, he has a heart made of Dick Cheney’s discarded heart parts.
• Exactly. Whenever I replace words in Michelle Obama’s speech and replace them with other words, I am very offended. For instance, every time I replace the word Hope with sodomy, that is a PR nightmare up here.
• CHILDREN! I AM YOUR GREAT AND POWERFUL FATHER! GO TO SLEEP BEFORE THE SNAKES BENEATH YOUR BED COME AND DEVOUR YOU! Sweet dreams, kids!
• Now I love women, in fact, some of my best parents are women.
• But marking this anniversary is the most blatant pandering of female voters since the creation of female voters, you know, however long ago that happened.
• And all Democrats will honor the 25th anniversary of John McCain’s 1983 vote against Martin Luthor King day.
• And Thursday, August 28th, is 101st anniversary of UPS. What do the Democrats do? Nothing! You just lost the brown states, Pelosi.
• That is a core constituency whose needs the Democrats will not have addressed in almost 24 hours.
• [Will Shortz cameo!]
• Ooh, the Cryptic. A seven-letter word for “I’ll Never Finish It.”
• I’m sorry if my voice is a little hoarse this morning – it turns out the pink fluffy stuff in the attic is not cotton candy. And now my house is so drafty. I’ve got to get some insulation.
• Now they say “modern” history. Because no one could hope to outgreen the 1832 convention in which all the tables were made from living indians.
• Yes, this year the Democrats are recycling, and not just Joe Biden recycling other peoples speeches.
• Nation, this is a sham. The Democrats do not care about trees. If they did they wouldn’t make me file tax returns.
• Papa Bear Bill O’Reilly was kind enough to let me keep it once I stole it and woudn’t give it back.
• I like my popcorn burny.
• [Editor's note: Was anyone else a bit nervous as the microwave continued to cook the cups?]
• If you’re old enough to read, you’re old enough to speed.
• For example, the microwave manual specifically told me not to put styrofoam in it. Or in the case that I do put styrofoam in it, not to stand next to it inhaling the fumes. [Stephen inhales deeply.] That’s the best smell me ever feel tasted kneesocks banana pants.
• First of all, welcome to Denver.
• You misunderestimate your mustache, sir.
• I will point it out every time you are here.
• From the Scott McClellan interview
• Scott McClellan: It’s good to finally be on the show in person this time.
• Stephen Colbert: By the way, after the Correspondent’s Dinner, back at the White house did they ever, uh, talk about me? Like, Hey, I loved that speech. I wanted so much to please the President that night.
• Stephen Colbert: Now, you’ve admitted that you were misled and therefore you misled the press. First of all, well done, and second, isn’t it just as possible now that you are being misled about having been misled, and actually are misleading me about misleading me. Is there a chance, a slim chance, that you are secretly a trustworthy person?
• Stephen Colbert: Now you say, the book is in some way about disillusionment. At the end of the day, you say, at the end of the day all politicians are human beings. What about during the day? Are they creatures?
• [the White House call, tee hee!]

Fangirl Suit Report: Grey suite, white shirt with barrel cuffs, black tie with dark gray pattern.

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• Episode 6038 (3/16/2010)
• Episode 6037 (3/15/2010)
• Episode 6036 (3/11/2010)