Beauty isn’t in the eye of the beholder. I’ve checked. There’s nothing in there but veins and goo. This is The Colbert Report!”
Fox and Friends with Benefits: “Tonight, Sean Hannity professes his love for America. Sorry Sean, I’m married.”
- Special Shout-Out: George Foster Peabody
Rousing Arizona: “Plus, I explore ways to make John McCain more exciting. Step one: Vice President Truckasaurus. ”
- Entries from Stephen Colbert’s Make McCain Exciting Challenge
- Portrait Guest: Cookie Monster
Knight Takes Bishop: “And my guest Bishop N.T. Wright is here to talk about the future of Christianity. Could it be another Crusade?”
- Bishop N.T. Wright, Bishop of Durham
In closing: Cookie Monster eats Stephen’s Peabody Award (yum!)
Video Highlight:
- Cookie Monster: It’s an outrage that cookies are no longer the number one snack for children under six. Fruit is un-American.
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
More Video Highlights, courtesy of Comedy Central’s Colbert Report website
- Full Episode
- Intro – 6/19/08: Sean Hannity professes his love for America. Sorry, Sean. Stephen’s married.
- Shout Out to the Peabody Awards: George Foster Peabody wins the coveted Stephen T. Colbert Award for excellence in recognizing excellence.
- Sean Hannity Loves America: Way to go, Sean Hannity. Stephen doesn’t know where you find the courage to call America the greatest, best country God has ever given man on the face of the Earth.
- Guest Bishop N.T. Wright: Stephen tells Bishop N.T. Wright his idea of heaven is getting a harp, drinking a mint julep and asking Ronald Reagan questions.
- Stephen’s Missing Peabody: Did Cookie Monster eat Stephen’s Peabody?
NOTABLE MOMENTS
- So I would like to send a special Colbert Report Shout-Out (Hey!) to George Foster Peabody, for winning the coveted Stephen T. Colbert Award for excellence in recognizing excellence, for their project giving Stephen Colbert a Peabody.
- Here is their trophy. The coveted Golden Dorito. Congratulations, George Foster Peabody, you earned it!
- I wouldn’t even know about it if it weren’t for the intrepid reporting of award-eligible journalist Sean Hannity.
- America is the greatest best country God has ever given man on the face of the Earth!
- Some of the great countries aren’t the best, and some of the best countries aren’t that great. Norway’s been coasting for years.
- But folks, a snazzy chart will only convince so many people. Like, say, the U.N. Security Council.
- He clearly does say it all the time. Way to go, Sean Hannity. I don’t know where you find the courage to call America the greatest best country God has ever given man on the face of the Earth. You are doing a great job for a guy who, let’s face it, loves America less than me. Little bit, little bit. Don’t worry, you’ll get there.
- Nation, because I love kids so much, I am angry.
- The throne has been seized by fruit! With cookies in second. In third place, as always, shotgunning a can of high fructose corn syrup.
- I don’t care what its nutritional value is, Carmen Miranda’s hat is still a turban. In fact, I will not eat fruit unless it’s in loop or pebble form.
- Nothing helps reading skills like sounding out hydrogenated rapeseed oil.
- Monkeys, you’ll earn my respect when you use those opposable thumbs to make Snickerdoodles.
- *What is it with the shows and Muppets this week?*
- This is a betrayal worse than when Scott McClellan turned on the president. It is worse than when Richard Clark turned on the president. It is even worse than when 75 percent of Americans turned on the president. It is a travesty! It is – *doorbell rings* Wait a minute. Nobody’s used that doorbell in years.
- *Cookie Monster is behind the portrait door!!*
- Cookie Monster: Well, uh, me hear what you say, and me want to set record straight.
- Stephen: But how did you get here?
- Cookie Monster: Oh, Elmo gave me lift. Yeah, he waiting outside in the car. Crack window!
- *Elmo drives?! Oh my god, he’s Jon Stewart’s Gitmo Elmo.*
- Cookie Monster: Me been there. Yeah, yeah. Me have craaazy times in seventies and eighties. Me like the Robert Downey Jr. of cookies. But me never only ate just cookies. No, no, me ate everything. Me not picky.
- Stephen: But just listen to yourself. You’re not a cookie monster; you’re just a monster!
- Cookie Monster: Whoa, whoa, that hurt me feelings!
- Stephen: Well, you hurt me feelings. By abandoning the pro-cookie agenda! If you really loved cookies, you’d be wearing a cookie lapel pin.
- Cookie Monster: You no have to wear lapel pin to show cookie pride.
- Stephen: Yes, you do. Kids, take a cookie and a pin and stick it to your chest.
- Cookie Monster: Whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa! You – you terrible role model!
- Cookie Monster: Heyy! That cookie?
- Stephen: No, that’s my Peabody.
- Cookie Monster: That look like cookie!
- Stephen: Hands off!
- Cookie Monster: Elmo can wait in car. It’s very fuel efficient. It run on imaaginaaaation.
- Nation, I have McCain fever. Symptoms include acute maverickness, and digressions that last more than four hours.
- Now, some critics say he’s not the best speaker, that his oratory style is like an Ambien smoothie with a Nyquil boost.
- What can I say? Animals love McCain. He’s like Snow White. Well, White. By the way, I don’t know if you recognized him, but that was Joe Lieberman in a squirrel costume.
- With McCain’s head severed, it will fit more easily up George Bush’s butt.
- *Shout out! We previewed the ‘Pulp Fiction’ green screen challenge last week.*
- I love the name ‘Surprised by Hope.’ I believe that will be the title of Hillary Clinton’s next book, also.
- Well, in these days, when I feel hope, I’m kind of surprised.
- Mine’s very specific – you get a harp, and I’ll have a mint julep, and I’ll ask Ronald Reagan questions.
- But come the Resurrection, Jesus is going to take care of all that! He comes on a cloud of glory, judges the living and the dead, okay, and then everything’s better, right? He made everything in six days, He can clean up what we got here in, like an afternoon!
- Wright: Now, so I don’t know if you have kids.
- Stephen: I have three, yeah.
- Wright: Well, I have four, and two grandkids –
- Stephen: It’s not a contest, okay.
- Wright: Oh really, I thought it was. I thought that was the idea. Never mind.
- Stephen: I’m sorry, I should have said – that I know of.
- Stephen: But what happens after? I’m all for finding out what happens to me after I die, because I’d love to make some plans. But what happens then? According to your reading – and is this your reading, or is this Anglican theology?
- Wright: The great thing about Anglicans is that we have no theology of our own. So if something is true, the Anglicans believe it. That’s the theory anyway.
- Stephen: That’s what I say.
- Wright: No, you chaps have stuff that you look up in these big books all the time. But the point is this –
- Stephen: You’re talking to the wrong chap.
- Wright: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you used the word chap.
- Will the new Earth be bigger than the last one, or will we all be slimmer?
- Tell you what. This is the sort of thing that can’t really be argued out in this lifetime; I’ll see you in the afterlife and we’ll settle it there.
- Well folks, that’s it for the Report. I want to thank my guests, especially Cookie Monster –
- Cookie Monster: *NomNomNom* Oh, yeah, yeah, thank you Stephen. Honor to be here.
- Stephen: Cookie Monster. . . where’s my Peabody?
- Cookie Monster: Me don’t know.
- Stephen: Cookie Monster, did you eat my Peabody?
- Cookie Monster: Me think me hear Elmo honking. *holds napkin over his mouth* Beep beep, beep beep beep beep. Me be right there! Buh-bye!
- Stephen: *frowning* Good night, everybody.
Fangirl Suit Report:Grey suit, White shirt with French cuffs, Blue and silver striped tie, Red WristStrong bracelet.
BEST. EPISODE. EVER. But I might be biased. :)
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Awesome job with the video!
Love, love, LOVE Pulp Fiction. As soon as I saw your video on YouTube, I was sure it was gonna be featured.
<3
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I was excited to see your video on the Report last night Geoff. Congratulations! You did good.
This was another solid episode. I liked the Sean Hannity coverage. It was one of the greatest best segments….
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Fantastic job on your video, Geoff! My hubby and I LOAO when we saw that! Well done!!
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I’m always impressed by these Green Screen Challenge entries. Yours had a very original take and well done too. Kudos.
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Cookie Monster made this amazing
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Yeah, the cookie monster visit was awesome. I loved every bit of it.
“Me been there. Yeah, yeah. Me have craaazy times in seventies and eighties. Me like the Robert Downey Jr. of cookies. But me never only ate just cookies. No, no, me ate everything. Me not picky.” Hahaha!!!!
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I found it especially funny when Stephen got upset and the Cookie Monster said to him, “Whoa, whoa! Focus!”
It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode in which Jerry advised Kramer to “focus” while taking a shower (being a long-shower/er myself, the premise spoke to me). Now I can’t hear the term “Focus!” without laughing. :P
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I was going to congratulate you!!!!!!!! Not only were you one of the featured videos, you were the NUMBER ONE featured video this evening! Great job. Colbert is loyal to his fans:)
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Great episode, loved the whole cookie monster thing. I hope a week of shameless self-promotion is enough for Stephen. Oh, who am I kidding. I do wonder where the Peabody’s gone off to.
BTW, I couldn’t watch the McCain segment online. It was cut out of the full episode (which are awesome). Anyone know why?
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It would be hysterical if the Peabody showed up on Sesame Street.
“Today’s show was brought to you by the letter ‘P’, and the number ’2ruthiness’…
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Ooooh! Very clever!
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I just checked, and the McCain segment is in the full episode.
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i can’t watch the episodes live because i don’t get comedy central here so im not sure what happened on air.
did the mccain segment include the pulp fiction video? it’s odd, i just watched it in the full episode and there was a VERY obvious cut in the episode, and i’m assuming they cut the pulp fiction clip. copyright violation?
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cookie monster=biggest “get” ever.
I don’t think the suit report did his ensemble justice. He looked mighty tasty.
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He sure did! That ensemble was full of win!
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agree on both counts!
that outfit was really nice, and very visible when he was chatting with cookie monster.
also, it is very strange and kind of cliche, but watching cookie monster really DID take me back to my childhood. I watched Sesame Street every day. yes I was a child who watched television a lot and I grew up to be fine (imo, lol).
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eh? no mccain segment at all online?
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I don’t know why, but this episode isn’t available to watch in Canada. =(
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CTV is notoriously slow at putting episodes online…
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That’s true, but if you go here http://www.thecomedynetwork.ca/shows/showdetails.aspx?sid=3351 it says it’s going to be “unavailable for online viewing”.
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re: the mccain segment — on the online “full episode” i watched, it only showed two green screen challenges and left out the Pulp Fiction one. I actually saw a tiny edit-jump in the segment and wondered what had been cut out, but it wasn’t until I saw the ep. report here that I knew Geoff’s video was in it, and has apparently been cut from the online version for some reason. wonder if it’s on the tv repeats?
also, I loved the portrait having a secret window behind it!
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Yeah, it was definitely on the 1:30am repeat last night. But the episode isn’t available on Hulu yet either, so I wonder if they got an angry phone call from Miramax. I might check and see if they’ve posted it to Xbox Live Marketplace with Pulp McCain edited out. For now there’s a version with just my clip available on my blog, for as long as no one tells me to take it down. Click on my name!
I actually have to say – I’m almost prouder that it got cut. If you’re gonna be on The Report, you may as well be controversial. :)
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Oh wow, I just went to Hulu’s Colbert Report page and it said “The Full Episode that aired on Thursday, June 19, 2008 will not be available on Hulu.com.”
So, um, if I made the video that gets Colbert thrown off the air, I’m really really sorry. :P
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oh, I would not worry. Colbert is always pushing the limits. I agree that doing something controversial is SO the way the right way to be on the Report! your video was too cool for them not to include it.
also I clicked on your name, and I completely understand your sentiment about hearing your name said! not that I’m going to be featured on the show any time soon but that is pretty exciting stuff!
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dude, they pull clips from like Jaws and Deep Blue Sea and all that junk all the time. i don’t see why this incident should be so controversial. full version please!!
by the way, Geoff, great job, even if you have a rather liberal sense of copyright law, hehe.
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The edited full episode is up on Hulu (without the clip)- even though they still have the disclaimer at the top that says it’s not available
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hahaha… i can’t believe they made cookie monster eat vegetables and fruit. Instead, it would have been better to just dial him back, and introduce an entirely new ‘monster’ that loves fruit. Why fix it when it ain’t broke?
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Excellence in recognizing excellence? Then shouldn’t the entire Colbert Nation recieve the Golden Dorito? Or maybe as the Nation, we should create it ourselves for ourselves (and make extra for Stephen to give, too. :)
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I’m sorry but I hate the green screen challenges. I know I’m like the only one, but they bored me on the DVD and they’re failing to entertain me now too.
The guest bored me to tears too. So monotous. (Did I spell that right? I’m sleepy)
Cookie Monster though? Made of win.
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Peroxide Emo, I agree with you. I think the green screen challenges are boring. To take a McCain clip and put something in the background … I don’t think it’s funny at all.
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I think it’s more about giving the fans a chance to be part of The Report, though, which is admirable. Most shows actually discourage viewers from sending in their own material. It’s a pretty great way to harness the power of The Colbert Nation. :)
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Emo and Fan, both greenscreen challenges weren’t intentional in the first place, the first one was just a jab at a BKAD where Lucas Ranch was located (or something) and McCain.. well that was his fault. ;)
To create (and appreciate) the GSCs, you just need a little more… *”*”*imagination*”*”*. Sorry you lack it.
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Okay, kids, play nice.
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Really? I get a warning for this? *incredulous look*
Well, I have to say this has got to be the most polite fan site ever. :D Since this IS your site, DB, and not mine, I apologize. *sincere bow*
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so.. with cookie monster making this episode so awesome, does that mean stephen owes sesame street an appearance?
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He’s already done that – http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=81282&title=alphabet
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haha, yes, i am aware of this clip, and i absolutely loved it. that’s why i was hoping he owed sesame street another appearance.
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That was really from Sesame Street….or was it just meant to look like it was from Sesame Street? If real, did Stephen make his appearance on Sesame Street while still on the Daily Show?
Can we see the full clip of Stephen on Sesame Street?
Sorry. This is a lot of questions.
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To answer your questions:
1) It was from a Sesame Street show called “All Star Alphabet” – it’s real.
2) It looks as if the DVD came out in 2005, so I imagine it was done during Stephen’s tenure at TDS.
3) The full clip was available at one time on YouTube, but I’ve been unable to locate a copy since the original went down. Here’s a link to an inexpensive DVD if you’d like to see it and/or own it in its entirety:
Sesame Street: All-Star Alphabet
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Thank you for this clip! My cousin was looking for kid’s gift ideas, and your amazon link was also helpful! If she picks it up, I can enjoy watching it with my nephew.
I love Stephen’s smile at the end of the all-star clip: It’s the smile only a desperate man does to make it seem like he’s into what he’s doing. :D
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@DB: Thanks for answering my questions so thoroughly!
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I do what I can. :)
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Really fun episode. Congrat Geoffrey for getting your video on the air!
I totally loved the Cookie Monster segment. The window behind the painting. Everything Mr. Monster said was great. “You terrible role model!” – All of it was so funny.
And personally, I love all the GSCs. A good way to get more people involved in my favorite cult of personalilty.
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only colbert report could ever get the Cookie Monster to say he was the “Robert Downey Jr. of cookies”.. haha, awesome.
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Was it the real Cookie Monster (I.e. Frank Oz and the original puppet) or was it someone from the Colbert Report playing Cookie monster?
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A little birdie told me that it was most probably the “real” Cookie Monster, although I also suspect that Frank Oz hasn’t done the voices on Sesame Street on a regular basis for a very long time.
ReCAPTCHA: playing him
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If it *wasn’t* the real CM, could Colbert get sued by Sesame Street?
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Zonkbert, Sesame Street and/or Jim Henson’s estate watch the public use of the Muppets very carefully. They don’t allow the names of actual Muppet characters to be used without approval. It’s a good thing, considering how SS is a complete childhood experience. “Role model” is the operative goal here. :)
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I just wanted to mention, I thought it was totally awesome that they tricked out the set and put the portrait on hinges. It opens up (heh heh) a whole new realm of guest possibilities! Unless it was also done before I started watching the show?
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Nah, that was the first time, I’m pretty sure.
But I’m glad someone else appreciated the portrait-door as much as I did. I’ve done technical theatre, and the first thing I thought was “The portrait’s a door! That’s so cool!”
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i think my favorite part of the cookie monster segment, next the robert downey jr. line, has to be right before it when Stephen sounds like such a little kid saying, “But I wanna eat cookies all the time!”
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Ditto. And the “Whoa, whoa! Focus!” part was great. I couldn’t stop laughing with the Hannity segment. And congratulations, Geoff.
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This must have been the best Colbert guest ever. Ever. Where does it end? Well, beyond Sesame Street, that is for sure!
Quite frankly, knowing how much NPR protects Sesame Street, I am shocked they let Cookie Monster go on Colbert.
Most politically oriented show have the president as their ultimate guest. Colbert has managed to go around that ultimate guest and found better guests. This was amazing.
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