Mark my words … seriously, Mark, I need my words, where’s my script? This is The Colbert Report!”
Cuban Dismissal Crisis: “Tonight, the Supreme Court gives Gitmo detainees the right to challenge their detention in court. The first open court date? August 4, 2850.”
- Peabody award winning show
- Desk guest: Neal Katyal
Ref-Rehensible: “Plus, are NBA refs fixing games, and if so, what games are they reffing, what’s the over-under and can someone spot me a hundred?”
- Stephen Colbert’s Sport Report
Hard Zittrains’ Gonna Fall: “And my guest, Jonathan Zittrain, has written a book about the future of the internet and how to stop it. I use alt-shift-hammer.”
- Jonathan Zittrain, Author (The Future of the Internet–And How to Stop It.)
THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:
Jonathan Zittrain – The Future of the Internet–And How to Stop It
Firefox 3 – The most current available browser on the market
In closing: “Well, that is it for the Report everybody, just one last bit of business. [Puts new Peabody on the mantle] There you go. Oh, actually, one more. [Puts picture of Peabody on portrait] There you go. Good night everybody!”
Video Highlight:
Jonathan Zittrain
Jonathan Zittrain wants to save the good chaos of the Internet and separate it from the bad chaos that will stomp on everything.
NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!
More Video Highlights, courtesy of Comedy Central’s Colbert Report website
- Full episode
- Intro – 6/17/08 : The Supreme Court gives Gitmo detainees the right to challenge their detention in court. The first open court date? August 4, 2850.
- Peabody Award : It’s time for Stephen’s Peabody Award-winning news coverage of the new world record for smashing watermelons on your head.
- Neal Katyal: Stephen asks Neal Katyal if his goal of bringing rights to the prisoners at Guantanamo is his private jihad.
- Sport Report – Timbersports Championship : Mike Forrester enters the final four in the STIHL Timbersports championship right where he needs to be — in fifth.
- Peabody on Mantel: Stephen places his Peabody Award on the mantle.
NOTABLE MOMENTS
- I got mine [Peabody] yesterday at a gala luncheon. It was so fancy, I had a finger bowl, although Leslie Stahl kept insisting it was her water glass.
- Innocent mistake. It was actually a drink coaster from KFC. They’re very hard to tell apart.
- We will have more about my place in the pantheon of broadcast legends whenever I feel like it.
- For now, it’s time for more of my Peabody award winning news coverage. Nation, there’s a new world record for smashing watermelons with your head. 40 in under a minute. Seedless to say, this guy’s very “pulp”ular with the ladies. What are you going to do now, Peabodys? You can’t take it back now! It’s mine!
- Sorry, I thought I saw a wolf.
- Sure, the court’s 1857 Dred Scott decision upheld slavery, but at least that meant you could detain people indefinitely.
- And Judge Judy said, “When you mess around with jailbait you accept the consequences.”
- They would love it, they are used to lifetime appointment.
- From the Neal Katyal interview:
- Stephen: What is the significance of this latest decision, and feel free in your answer to use the phrase “the end of civilization”.
- Stephen: The devil you know, and the devil you don’t know.
- Katyal: You look at Madison and the Federalist papers. Stephen: I will not look at Madison and the Federalist Papers. Now what is this habeus corpus I hear so much about; is that in the Bill of Rights?
- Stephen: Where does the Constitution get off telling the government what it can and cannot do? Isn’t that what this is really about, Neal?
- Stephen: Would you call your goal of bringing rights to the prisoners at Guantanamo your private jihad? Katyal: Hindus aren’t Jihadists, Stephen. Stephen: Oh, you’re a Hindu? uh …. uh … Let me ask you this, if Gingrich is right and we lose a city, does that make you Shiva, lord of destruction? Katyal: Touché, Stephen.
- Gee, you know what’s a great way to overcome injuries? Steroids! Side effects may include a hall of fame.
- Game 6 of the NBA Finals is happening as I speak, and I can’t believe how close and/or how much of a blowout it is. [Editor's Note: As of 11:30 EDT, the Celtics had a 30 point lead over the Lakers. My sweet husband is recording the fourth quarter so I can do this - don't tell him the score!]
- Officials became suspicious of [Tim] Donahey partly because of questionable calls, but mostly because he would occasionally block shots. This guy was a monster in the paint.
- PHOTO NOT LOOKED FOR
- And if I may say so, rocked that tank top.
- WHOO! I’m assuming he did.
- Thank you for your derision.
- Like you dive off the stage and you ride over the hands of the …. internets?
- The routers – all the people high on Ecstasy.
- What do you mean, my computer at home might be awaiting … like if somebody says, “Kill” it will turn on me? What’s to be afraid of, believe me, I’m all in favor of scaring the shit out of the public. But I don’t understand, give me the tools to frighten them.
- Firefox 3 just got the Colbert Bump.
- I don’t think the Estonians have computers.
- Applauding chaos.
- How can you be against the iPhone? It’s like being against warm bread.
- Stephen: Isn’t that the goal? Eventually have power and money
Zittrain: [in the cutest voice ever] You make it sound like Dungeons and Dragons.
Stephen: Well, the rest of the world can make a saving throw!
Fangirl Suit Report: Gray pinstriped suit, Light blue shirt with barrel cuffs, Yellow tie with small red/white striped pattern.
Zittrain: about the bracelet
“my niece gave it to me, I don’t know what it is”
=S so bold of him lol
Awww and when he said “you make it sound like dungeons and dragons”
You could tell Colbert just wanted to break character, which he did for a moment, and just show off his knowledge, good for you Stephen for staying strong ;)
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I enjoyed the Zittrain interview quite a bit. I had to laugh about the fact that he wore a WristStrong bracelet and mentioned D&D without realizing how significant both of those things are to Stephen. Because I am a computer nerd who spends way too much time on the internet, I definitely plan to read Zittrain’s book (after I finish upgrading to Firefox 3).
I loved the Peabody Award sticker that Stephen placed on the portrait. Hopefully, he will be able to place more award stickers on the portrait in the future. Emmy people, are you listening?
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I read an article talking about ff3 and the downtime that ensued not long after the release. I dled it yest and its working great so far. I havent much used the ‘awesome bar’ yet, but its pretty nifty. I liked the old look of the tab section, but other than that, its all good.
I think this is the first time any software has gotten the Colbert Bump? TCR viewership no doubt lent into ff3 hitting and exceeding its target of 5million by getting 7million downloads, as per the article I read (IIRC).
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Did anyone else see the Truth/Truthiness Patron ad? Or has that been around for awhile?
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It was the first time I’d seen it. If I were of age/actually drank I would be tempted to reward their awesome advertisement targeting and buy some of it.
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I saw this ad too. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me so I’m glad you mentioned it meaculpa.
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I’ve seen it played before, but only in the last week or two.
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I love love love Neal Katyal. And I cannot stop celebrating the outcome of Boumediene v. Bush. See? Once every blue moon or so, lawyers do something that can’t be called callous, soul-sucking, greedy, etc.
Thank goodness Justices Kennedy, Stevens, Souter, Ginsburg and Breyer voted the way they did.
And heaven help us if we get any more more Justices (or Chief Justices) like Roberts, Scalia, Thomas or Alito confirmed.
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Amen.
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I agree with you MsI. This was too perfect: “Where does the Constitution get off telling the government what it can and cannot do?”
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Katyal is swoon – worthy. I’d have him as my lawyer any day.
Love the Peabody puns.
The Hindu comment made me think of “are you saying all Hindus are child molesters?” that was such a great episode…
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Best line: “Believe me, I’m all in favor of scaring the s&*t of out of the public…” Ha!
I’m sorry, but Zittrain really should have at least pretended to know what the Wrist Strong bracelet was all about. Stephen seemed to get excited over seeing one of his guests with it on, and sort of fumbled when he blatantly said he had no idea what it meant. Gotta do your homework, kids.
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[warning: a bit of a downer]
I hate to make this point, but I think Stephen is tired, and I think it shows. Today I asked my son and my mother independently what they think, and they both said he seemed down a notch, not quite as sharp. The non-retort for the WristStrong bracelet remark is a good example: “It’s a powerful… aid.” The energy is not the same. God, I hate to even hint at criticism — this is not a complaint, more of a concern. I’m starting to wish for a break, a rest, or a slowing down of his schedule, because I’m starting to feel a little stressed, a little tired when I watch him. And I wonder if anyone else sees this.
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i agree with you. stephen looks really, really tired. he has only had one week off since the strike, and then philly and into this crazy election summer, and all of his other appearances.
if i were in any position to do so, i would send him home for 2 weeks. hopefully he’ll get some rest before the fall election.
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Maybe that is why he wasn’t in Bloomsday in Broadway. I bet he was too tired and just needed a short break. I can feel his pain. He’s a busy dude.
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i totally agree with you also, i just don’t know how much longer it will last, because he can only be #1 for so long, and once he’s not, it might hit him hard, and i wonder if he’s getting tired of it all… i think the reason why he left the daily show was because he wanted to do something new after so long, but it’s pretty much the same thing…
i don’t know about you guys, but i was a fan of stephen way before this whole “report” thing… and i would love to see him relax, and do something less intense, he’s an amazing writer, and person, so i’m thinking he should tweak the character a little and let more of his personality shine through, he’s gotta trust that we’ll love him for him, i mean there is a reason why we love character breaks so much (we love the real stephen also)…
but in reality, I don’t see him keeping up this character for more than another two years or so, before either he or the public gets exhausted…
as for me I’ll always be a fan of whatever he does, I have so much respect for him…
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meh. There are on days and there are off days. I wouldn’t worry about it.
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Ok, I gotta be honest, I feel a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation. Let’s just assume he needs to get caught up on his sleep (like me, my minions and probably most of the people who frequent this site) and leave it at that, ok kids?
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I think you’re right, DB — he *might* need to catch up with himself a bit. No need to make more of it than that.
I loved the Neil Katyal interview and the Dungeons and Dragons comment in the Jonathan Zittran interview.
(reCaptcha: lighter He)
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I agree. Stephen just needs some sleep. He’s been doing a lot of side gigs in addition to The Report lately, so I imagine he could use a few days off for some well deserved rest.
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I agree that we shouldn’t go there. I think it falls behind the line where Stephen’s personal life begins and we butt out. If that makes sense. I’m very sleepy. Sorry.
I understand why people worry – they care about this guy they’ve come to love and adore over the course of the last 2 years and more. And that is totally understandable. Not wanting someone you admire to kill themselves by overworking themselves is good. BUT discussing the matter too much will inevitably lead into discussion about his private life and I think it’s right that DB would rather that discussion not happen here.
Anyways! Bed now.
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I loved when Stephen got caught off-guard by Katyal’s Hindu comment. But then Stephen bounced back in typical fashion. Nice one. :)
I think Stephen’s just a little tired. It’s an election year, so there’s a lot going on. He just needs a little vacation time and he’ll be good as new.
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Um, can we please stop debating whether Stephen is tired or looks tired? Please?
Pretty please?
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Am I the only one who thought the guest seemed kinda nuts? Zombie computers???!! Paranoid, much?
reCaptcha: Peabody Days!! LOL So cute! :D
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Gang, I’m going to ask that we all please stop speculating in these comments on whether or not Stephen’s tired, and I’m going to be less polite than DB was. I’d imagine that anyone who keeps his schedule would be, but I think that these comments have gone about as far as I’m comfortable with into “Stephen’s personal life” territory, even if it is all just speculation here.
I thought the show last night was great, and I did not see anything suggesting that Stephen was giving us any less than his usual best. I don’t want to throw cold water on futher discussion of last night’s episode, but I’d really appreciate it if people could drop some of the more personal projections. Thanks.
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I loved the Sport Report! We live in the Sacramento area, and are Kings fans. Yeah, our team got robbed in 2002 against the Lakers (Lakers got to shoot about 30 more free throws ). But what had us laughing out loud was the image holder with “Didn’t bother to look for picture” or whatever was in there for Mike Bibby (our former point guard). Hee! Plus, I would bet that Bibby would not be an it-getter. Anyway, I loved the whole show. Both the desk guest and the main guest were great.
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I have to echo the appreciation of Stephen Colbert, and his willingness to bring up some… difficult… subjects on the show. That’s especially true with the Johnathan Zittrain interview. The issues of Internet neutrality & safety are going to be increasingly important as more and more of our economy relies on the Internet to get work done. Bravo, Stephen Colbert, and bravo, Professor Zittrain. And thanks.
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