“I’m Stephen Colbert, the most trusted name in the name of my show. This is The Colbert Report!”

Snob Story: “Tonight, Is Barack Obama an elitist? Well, he does want to join a club with only 43 members.”

  • New iPhones are HUGE!
  • The Obama bump
  • “The Elitist Menace Among Us”

The Wørd:

Ice To Have Known You: “Then, I take a look at the future of the Arctic, and its Top 10 beaches.”

Who’s Zooing Who?: “And my guest Alan Rabinowitz wants to save endangered cats. I know one cat that’s going to be endangered if it doesn’t stop peeing on my bed”

  • Alan Rabinowitz – Author, “Life in the Valley of Death”

THE COLBERT BUMP – YOU’RE GETTING IT:

Alan Rabinowitz – Life in the Valley of Death: The Fight to Save Tigers in a Land of Guns, Gold, and Greed

In closing: [Gets caught sniffing markers] “Good night”

Video Highlight:

Alan Rabinowitz – Zoologist Alan Rabinowitz almost makes Stephen cry with the story of how he was inspired to save big cats.

NOTABLE MOMENTS — Video links and more after the fold!

More Video Highlights, courtesy of Comedy Central’s Colbert Report website

  • Full Episode Video
  • Intro – 6/10/08 : Stephen questions if Barack Obama is an elitist, takes a look at the top ten beaches of the Arctic, and discusses endangered cats with Alan Rabinowitz.
  • New Giant iPhone : Stephen thought it was a status symbol to pull out an iPhone from your pocket, but that’s nothing compared to pulling one out of your U-Haul.
  • Tickling the Rocks: Stephen has come up with a way for true patriots to identify each other.
  • The Elitist Menace Among Us: Stephen could never picture Senator Obama at an Applebee’s salad bar, and not just because Applebee’s doesn’t have a salad bar.
  • Smokin’ Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches: The theme to “Hockey Night in Canada” makes everything more exciting, especially American things.

NOTABLE MOMENTS

  • Nation, I am angry! I spent all last summer begging Apple to send me a free iPhone and yes … they did, although it’s here right now. What? It was cut? (*character break*) I want my damn free iPhone back!
  • And not only is $200 cheaper, and three times faster, it’s also huuuuuuge.
  • Send me a new giant iPhone, Apple, or I will do all my future computing on John Hodgman.
  • For instance, at first glance I thought this was an adorable moment with his wife. Look at that! Cute little bump!
  • That fist bump is like a Rorschach test. Look, it’s Senator Obama making out with Osama Bin Laden. On the back of a butterfly, whale, my mother?
  • Most shocking of all, folks, this has revealed the islamo-fascist leanings of the Wonder Twins! Shape of a mushroom cloud. Form of more than three ounces of liquid.
  • It’s called Tickling the rocks.
  • Somebody just bought themselves a background check.
  • I could never imagine Senator Obama at an Applebee’s salad bar. Just because Applebee’s doesn’t have a salad bar.
  • He probably eats at Chili’s. What a snob.
  • Some of those people have to do their own hair!
  • Yes, an Elitist – an ist worse than Communist, Feminist and Harpist combined.
  • Remember, only an Elitist would spell Elitist correctly.
  • What do they want? Our brains!!!
  • First get them drunk, then take them hunting. With any luck, they’ll shoot themselves.
  • So next time you see someone reading a book, or drinking a Filipino, remember, they’re probably an Elitist.
  • What have I become?!
  • Who said my iPhone was supposed to be moved? I didn’t cut it! I did cut it? Well, I will have some stern words for me later. Oh, and I’m going to say some cruel stuff that I’ll never be able to take back.
  • The Future of Arctic Marine Navigation in Mid-Century, written by Global Business Network, the world leader in vague, uninspired names for organizations.
  • It’s like a futuristic disaster movie where only the rich guys survive. Mad Max meets Wall Street … on ice!
  • Ice rangers! How can we fight them? I’m hoping with Fire rangers.
  • Which of course attracts down on their luck polar bears willing to give paw jobs in exchange for mackerel.
  • Editor’s note: Loved the Reappearing Report gag.
  • I hope this story concludes with ice zombies. One word: Brainsicles.
  • Real men don’t need any UN laws of the sea, we have the old laws of the sea. If you’re stranded on the life boat you can eat the fat guy. And anything that happens in the middle of the sea is not gay.
  • No, I’m not talking about the Yeti that poops gold.
  • Strong words for a Canadian.
  • Those fools! It is the strongest piece of sports related music since [Stephen sings "Rock and Roll Part II"]. Which I believe was composed by Mozart.
  • The theme to Hockey Night in Canada makes everything more exciting. Especially American things.
  • *Stephen sings with a mouth full of hot dog* I’ve got your hockey theme sooooong, aaand you can’t have it baaaack. I’m going to play it when I do things like punching beavers in the face. Punching beavers in the face!!
  • First of all, I love alliteration, congratulations on that.
  • Are you trying to make me cry? Because this is the closest any guest has ever gotten. [Editor's Note: Awwww!]
  • [Editor's Note: Hubby just asked, "What's with all the singing tonight?"]
  • When you finally have to cash in your chips, would you like to be devoured by a big cat?

Fangirl Suit Report: Slate gray suit, lavender striped shirt with French cuffs, bright yellow tie with small dotted pattern.

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