Fan site for Stephen Colbert and the Colbert Report
We've got our 'Welcome Jesus' T-shirts on - bring on the Return of Christ!
I've been holding onto my 'Welcome Jesus' T-shirt since this site started in July 2006, and now I finally get [more]
SNL brings back the Ambiguously Gay Duo - LIVE!
Thank God for Twitter! And the Internet in general. Without them, I wouldn't have known that Stephen made a surprise [more]
"The Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear" Gets 4 Daytime Emmy® Noms
Who's honoring Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart now? The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences! "The Rally to Restore [more]
Anderson Cooper Goes There: Stephen now on the Ridiculist
You may recall Stephen putting Anderson Cooper on the Absurd-U-Chart back in April claiming that Anderson Coopers Ridiculist was a [more]
And this time it's on the official New York Philharmonic YouTube channel so we assume it won't disappear any time [more]
Good God, he’s killed another staffer. What are we up to, two? Plus whoever’s head was in that box.
We gotta get a graphic for this – anyone got any suggestions?
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I think it’s actually three; didn’t he kill off Tom Purcell during Tad’s “Emergency Evacuation” drill (by having Tad snap Purcell’s neck)? I mean, I know we’ve seen Purcell since then, but …
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That’s right! I had forgotten about that! Oh, and the shock thing?
Adorable.
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Hey, you’d know – whose head was in the box again?
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I honestly can’t remember, but to the best of my recollection, it was a straight up riff on the final scene of Se7en … so, I guess that would have made it Bobby’s wife’s head, right?
Edited to add: See, this is what happens when I don’t get sleep: I get stupid. Thanks, ScottNak and Ann G. (below), for setting me straight!
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Wasn’t it some celebrity who kept complaining (about Bush?) too much?
For some reason Zellwegger comes to mind right away, but I’m not exactly sure why. That and I’m kinda tired. *yawn*
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You mean the box on one of the shelves on the set? At the taping I attended a couple of weeks ago, one of the questions from the audience was “What’s in that box marked ‘fragile’? And Stephen immediately replied, “Gwyneth Paltrow’s head.”
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Ah, the combination of Ann G. and ScottNak are right; Stephen added the box to his shelf after a Portuguese newspaper reported that Gwyneth Paltrow made a statement about the British being “more intelligent and civilized than Americans” (she later said she didn’t mean that and had been mistranslated).
The segment is here, if you’d like to watch again.
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Thanks for the link Ms I! I hadn’t seen that before.
Judging by Bobby’s panic though, it seems that he may just have a few more deaths under his belt that we don’t know about.
reCAPTCHA: Murphy’s tectives… as opposed to detectives? And who’s Murphy?
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Thanks for the link. I hadn’t seen that clip before. Poor Bobby. If only he had known what Stephen would do to him in the future…Maybe he could have survived. :-)
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Ahh.. Close close. Memory still not up to tip top shape yet…
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I can’t believe you found that vid! I looked for it SO HARD after Bobby left to put it as a tribute. It’s my favorite appearance of Bobby ever.
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Is there anywhere where I can see clips of the deaths? I know about Bobby and I think I remember Meg being poisoned, But I don’t know anything about this head in the box. This i awesome stuff. Awesome episode as well!!!!! I love the shock part. That looked awful painful.
ReCaptcha: neurosis.
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See above, I added a link. :)
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From tonight’s interview, I’d say he’s trying to do himself in as well!
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Heh. So, let’s see, he broke Tom Purcell’s neck, trapped one in a box (was that Glenn Eichler?), ATE Bobby … yeah, this is a dangerous job. And let’s not forget, Meg was poisoned once upon a time, too (though not fatally, it seems).
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I still can’t believe he ate Bobby.
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I think Meg did actually die, but I guess she was miraculously resurrected.
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But you know who’s not going to get hurt or killed?
Killer.
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Heh. I’m thinking “Homero” will be okay, too, don’t you think? ;)
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I once wanted to work for his show, but I’m not sure now. I don’t want to be eaten, harmed, or killed in any way. He’s a monster :-)
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Soon there’s going to be no one left but him.
But I guess we found out Monday that he maintains the cameras and prompters as well. I guess he could pull off a total one-man show.
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And don’t forget – they still haven’t found Greg Kilborn …?
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Who’s he?
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Craig Kilborn. He was the host of The Daily Show before Jon Stewart took over – jeez, I think I’ve watched TDS from the start.
So TDS became popular, I guess there were some problems, and Kilborn left to become rich and famous on his own. Or so he thought.
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“jeez, I think I’ve watched TDS from the start”
Don’t worry — I’m sure you’re not alone. I didn’t start watching from the very beginning in 1996 (at the time I was living in a small town in northern Minnesota that didn’t get Comedy Central), but I’ve been watching off-and-on since 1998, well before Jon Stewart took over and Craig left to host The Late, Late Show on CBS.
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OOPS! That should have read Craig Kilborn… and after all that v-vs-ph agony, too.
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I suggest a tombstone graphic, with a Wriststrong bracelet for a halo on top.
reCAPTCHA tells us: butchered Germania…
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Clever!
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You know…
We haven’t seen Tad in a while, have we? D:
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Don’t even joke about killing Tad!!!!!!
Although, it would be pretty funny to then see “Stephen” crying over Tad the way Noblet cries over Geoffrey: “Oh, Tad!!! Why, Tad, why?!”
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Tad was attacked by a chicken last time he was on the show, I think. I wonder if all those scratches gave him salmonella…?
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No no no– we can’t have any more of this talk of Tad’s demise. Tad must survive to go forth and execute special missions for Stephen.
It’s now been 1 year and 26 days since Tad’s last appearance. Not that I’m counting or anything.
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Or he’s still out there, looking for that female eagle for Stephen Jr…
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Ooh! Graphic idea!
Maybe something like the Grim Reaper holding up his fingers like he’s counting. Like he’s standing there with his scythe and he’s showing us on his fingers. We’ve got a pretty high body count, so in red spooky lettering at the top it could say “Colbert Report Body Count Death Watch” and then have whatever number the count is up to.
Ugh! Trying to explain it is so frustrating because I have a clear picture in my head, but not the talent to get it into a viewable form.
(reCAPTCHA- buckles children… lol.)
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Do you have Adobe Photoshop? I wish I did. You and TheLakeEffect should join their graphics department:) Maybe Stephen could tweak the “Cheating Death” graphic in some way so that it would look like he is administering death instead.
P.S. Impressed that you knew the word “scythe.”
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Lol. I was impressed that I knew how to spell the word “scythe”. But I suppose I have to credit that to being the editor-in-chief of my high school newspaper my senior year. (haha, a whole year ago.)
I did have Photoshop CS, but then I got a new computer and somewhere in the process I lost the disc along with the registration codes and everything and I just haven’t gotten around to getting another copy, due to lack of funds from being a poor college kid. (I wasn’t that good at using it for anything but editing photos anyway– again, from being on the newspaper staff. It’s imprinted things into my very soul.)
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Let’s start a group or blog post or petition demanding that Tad return to the show:
Fans Ask For Tad!
Fans Demand Tad!
Fans Mad For Tad!
Someone either help me or stop me.
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lol. There’s no stopping a member of The Colbert Nation when they get started on something like that.
Now I want a t-shirt that says “I’m mad for Tad!” on it. LOL.
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I want one of those shirts! I’m with you two. I miss Tad so much.
Can the Nation pressure Stephen to do something? Aren’t we suppose to do what he wants?
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We are kind of like minions, but at the same time, I think it’s a pretty give and take relationship. He gets material from us sometimes. Maybe if people started wearing “I’m Mad for Tad” shirts to the tapings, he’ll realize something’s up.
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okay, now I’m gonna have to make Tad T shirts.
You people are enablers!
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:-) I think all of us Zoners enable each other to follow our obsessions.
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Okay, to recap… Stephen’s in one way or another killed-
1)Craig Kilborn
2)Meg (even though she came back to life)
3)Tom Purcell (even though we’ve seen him since)
4)Bobby
5)Gwyneth Paltrow
6)Justin (presumed dead- he’s in the box)
and Tad is M.I.A.
Wow… that is actually ridiculous…
Am I missing anyone?
(LOL reCAPTCHA: guillotine dealer… no kidding)
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Could someone please remind me when Stephen said “they never found Craig Kilborn”? My memory is failing me…
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The same episode he ate Bobby. In one of the asides leading up to said dining, he mentioned he couldn’t eat another co-worker as they’d never found Craig.
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