Ever heard these phrases while perusing the Colboards?
- Geoffrey, WHY?!?!!!
- You can’t unfry things!
- Shut your dirty little mouth!
- What’s Geoffrey thinking? He’s being so rebellious. Like some leather-clad biker with the smell of cheap alcohol on his breath. Tight pants creaking like a rusty door hinge as he makes his way across the bar and pins you to the wall with that smoky glare of his. You wanna run, but you can’t. Can’t move. It’s like he’s trapped you like some helpless woodland creature.
(Okay, I just threw that one in because it’s a fantastic quote)
They come from a cult series that was around in the late 90′s called “Strangers With Candy”. And if you haven’t watched this show, you now officially have no excuse. It stars the Trifecta (Stephen Colbert/Paul Dinello/Amy Sedaris) as well as a crazy cast of characters. I’m not kidding, if you call yourself a Colbert fan, you need to watch this show. There are many times where Stephen references the show or the actors in some way, and it will really make you appreciate tumbling.
Comedy Central is now showing episodes every day at 12p EST, so set your Tivo and enjoy! Click here to see Comedy Centrals listings of the show schedule. I would highly, highly recommend February 14th’s episode, “Hit and Run”, since it is my very favorite and pretty much has Chuck Noblet crying the entire time.
So my question to you, to be answered in the comments, is:
What are your favorite SWC quotes of all time?
h/t Caitlin from PaulDinello.net
oops, forgot one of my all-time favorites!
Jellineck: “10 am sharp, people. Except for you, Jerri. I’d like to see you at a quarter after never.”
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“Fight it, Fight it, Fight it sure, what should I…wear?
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+1
Continuing from Meow House’s…
*bell suddenly rings and Noblet & Jellineck abruptly leave*
Blackman: I guess we’ll never know.
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these are from memory so not exact…
Noblet points gun to class and recites West Side Story w/ Bernstein’s music
“Now Chino, I too have hate. Is this a bullet for me? Or for ju or ju or ju?”
“It’s OK you don’ t have to applaud.” *crickets* ”
“What do I know about secret relationships? I have a very open very public relationship w/ my wife. Here she is (he taps her framed pix with the gun) right here.”
basement scene
Jellineck: U boat captains!
Noblet: Yawol! Rigged for silent running.
Blackman: “What are you two doing down here?
Noblet (taps the boiler)”Yup that’s the boiler, heats the whole building…”
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My significant other is a high school art teacher, so obviously a favorite with us is Geoffrey’s:
“My whole teaching career is a farce, wrapped in a masquerade, smothered in a facade frosting.”
Then there’s all of the episode in which Jerri and the Coppertop play parents to baby Dizzy…that whole abusive scene in the cafeteria, about which Jerri later says “I wanna ‘pologize,” and this just after the line:
“I ordered the Vice Channel. Pretty good movies. They cut out for the money shot, but you can still see plenty of…ah [licks lips], pink.”
Other favorites:
–”That’s gotta be TIGHT.”
–The throat noise Jerri makes when she’s toking down (“gollum, gollum”).
–Um, anything Colbert says, be it verbal, non-verbal, or in song.
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Has nobody yet said, “And by audacity I mean huuubris, overweeening pride”?
“You’re lucky we just ate lunch, or we’d be kicking the hate out of your racist friend!”
“Educate yourself to THIS reality!”
“Let’s go throw rocks at the Indian!”
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“Close the door.”
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“Listen to him!”
“Him who?”
“Him me!”
“It’s apparent you have a beef, Stew, but please don’t stir things up”
“All the seats are taken by regular students, so you’ll have to sit on that box of irregular jeans”
“what about Jerri’s right to express myself?”
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The retarded don’t rule the night. Nobody does. Still, don’t look ‘em in the eye. Don’t do it. Puts ‘em on edge. They might fly into a rage and come at you, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming, “No no no,” but all they hear is, “Who wants cake?” And, let me tell ya something, they all do. They all want cake.
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“Put away your claws, Kittens!”
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I love To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank and The Blank page, mostly because they’re both chock-full of Colbert. :)
Favorite quotes:
“You can’t unfry things, Jerri. You can’t be something you’re not!” -Noblet
“By audacity, I mean huuuuuuuubris overweeeening pride.” -Blackman
“Eyes to the back of the room!” (Followed by spontaneous, uncontrollable sobbing, of course.) -Noblet
“I’m an obtuse man, so I’ll try to be oblique.” -Blackman
“The tragic irony of the Trojan War is that though it was fought over Helen, who was young and beautiful, but by the time they rescued her ten years later, she was old and ugly… Tina, an ugly woman is never a reward.” -Noblet
Goshhh… so many great quotes!
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Hit’n Run is Choc full of Colbert, And the best one in the series! I love his character in this one.
“Let’s just go to the place”
“Great you smashed the macaroons!”
“Oh My god. It’s his face!”
“And why were there two of them?”
“The importance of truth on modern art”
“When one of my teachers loses face, I lose face”
“Is this my classroom? Oh this is Mr. Jellineck’s room”
“Eyes in the back of the room Eyes in the back of the room. There’s something I want you to see in the back”
“Are you talking about you”
“Geoffry and I are “friendly”"
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@TruthPower,
LOL! I just watched this one the other day and I nearly died laughing. I’m really loving watching this, and I’d like to thank DB again for posting this notice so I could DVR all of them. I also recently watched the one where Jerri’s father died…talk about dark humor. But, what a great episode.
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@Lisa,
Had you seen the show before? Get the DVD set!
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@TruthPower,
Sadly, no I haven’t. And I *wish* I could get the DVD set, but since I lost my job, we’ve been on a very tight budget.
Even more sadly, Comedy Central has ended the rebroadcast of this show. *sniffle*
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“Quandary….what’s quandary mean?”
Jerri: “What should I-uh…wear?”
Drake: “Somethin I can pull over that cute little head o yours.”
Jerri: “Draaake”
Drake: “Ahha, I’m juz kiddin’, but seriously wear somethin’ loose.”
“Pizza pizza pizza!!”
“You can’t be a pilgrim Orlando, pilgrims had snowy white skin to match their christian souls. They didn’t sacrifice coconuts to their monkey gods.”
And every time Jerri tries to, or succeeds in throwing something at Mr. Blackman. Like a bowl of candy.
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Does anyone know which episode the “what’s Geoffrey thinking ” Colbert monologue was from?
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