Jul
26
Episode 3095 (7/25/2007)
By
“If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 287 times, This is The Colbert Report!”
Tats: Entertainment: “Tonight, scientists develop a removable tattoo. Sorry cure for cancer, first things first.”
- Cable Coverage of Iraq War
- Bill O’Reilly on DailyKos.com
- Hannity on “Clinton Saga – Chapter 8″
The Wørd: No Regrets
Yawn of the Fred: “Then Fred Thomson demotes his campaign manager. He’ll be replaced by Dennis Farina, but only for one season.”
- Fred Thompson’s campaign
- Hometown Hero Town – Bryce Canyon City, UT
- Colbert Report City
Manthropology: “Plus, my guest Charles Kaiser has written the history of gay culture. I don’t care what books he plugs in the privacy of his own bedroom, but don’t rub our noses in it.”
- Charles Kaiser – Author, “The Gay Metropolis”
Guest Plug:
In closing: Now, you didn’t think I’d end the show without saying Goodbye, did you? Well, I’m about to blow your mind.”
INTERNET COL-BOMB SITE OF THE DAY:DailyKos.com – Stephen says DO NOT GO to this address!
NOTABLE MOMENTS
- Nation, I gotta be honest with you, I’m bored. Every day it’s the same – Iraq this, Iraq that. I don’t want to talk about Iraq anymore, it’s too easy. Oh look, here’s some breaking news, another thing blows up! I didn’t even have to do any research, where’s the challenge?
- Hey, New York Times, I didn’t ruin Harry Potter for you, don’t ruin this war for me!
- For the record, the David Duke convention is hosted by Air Aryan, the airline with the most overhead arm room.
- Exactly. The Ku Klux Klan and the Nazis were both notorious for allowing people to express unpopular views in an open and free forum. … It doesn’t matter that these comments weren’t written Daily Kos management. If someone writes something on something you own, you automatically support that message. That is why I have stopped eating at the Outback Steakhouse on Route 3. I was appalled by their bathroom wall’s stance on what amounts to a good time. Shocking! And there was no answer at that phone number.
- I think $5 is a small price to pay to agree wtih what Bill says.
- Hannity and Colmes – I love this show, it’s like watching Dorian Gray and his picture at the same time.
- And that’s just Chapter 8 of the Clinton saga. I believe that Chapter 9 deals with Clinton shooting JFK, and Chapter 10 deals with eating his remains. That is powerful, powerful stuff that may or may not have happened.
- I stopped by my local tattoo parlor, Abraham Inkin’. It’s where I get all my Emancipation Decorations.
- Folks, I don’t believe in removing tattoos. Once you commit to something you have got to stick with it forever. [Especially You, Comedy Central]
- If you changed your mind about that Poison Tattoo from the 80’s, how is anyone going to take your Good Charlotte tattoo seriously? [Seriously, Good Charlotte?]
- I’ve got the same problem with organ transplants. I say you dance with the liver you come with.
- And I am walking the walk, folks. I feel so strongly about tonight’s word that I got it tattooed on my arm. No Regrets [tattoo says "No egrets"] And that’s the word. What? No egrets? Oh, I love egrets. Sorry buddy [shows the Spartina logo video where the fish eats the egret].
- And this shakeup in his campaign staff comes at a critical time – before he has a campaign.
- Without even declaring, Thomson has managed to go from nobody, to frontrunner to guy with troubled campaign. At this pace, he might well both enter and drop out of the race in one speech.
- They say you should look for three things when you buy real estate – location, location, and I forget the third.
- Now, if you’ve never heard of Bryce Canyon City, that’s because it was founded … Monday at around noon.
- Most of those tourists are coming to either see Bryce Canyon National Park, or it’s newest attraction, the World’s Largest Loophole.
- This whole thing has given me a great idea. Nation, from now on, we are broadcasting from the newly incorporated Colbert Report City. And, as such, we will be holding elections for mayor next Tuesday. You can choose between me, a crack whore, a dead circus chimp, or a roll of quarters. Let the best man win.
- Go Jazz, which I understand is some sort of atheletic team.
- The Gay Metropolis – what are you implying, that there’s a gay Superman? What is the gay Kryptonite is what I want to know.
- I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you might be gay.
- [does West Side Story dance] There’s no WAY that was gay!
- I wish I could stereotype, but I’m not allowed to, because I’m not gay.
- So it’s ok for you to be a bigot?
Fangirl Suit Report: Grey suit, Light blue shirt with barrel cuffs, Grape purple tie with polka dots.
Videos courtesy of Comedy Central Motherload
Charles Kaiser: Stephen asks Charles Kaiser, author of ‘The Gay Metropolis’, if there’s a gay Superman.
More Videos!
- Tats: Entertainment: Scientists develop a removable tattoo. Sorry, cure for cancer – first things first.
- Daily Kos: Bill O’Reilly is taking on Jet Blue for sponsoring a vicious hate site, DailyKos.com.
- No Regrets: Stephen feels so strongly about tonight’s word he got it tattooed on his arm.
- Thompson Campaign: Fred Thompson might well both enter and drop out of the race in one speech.
- Hometown Hero Town – Bryce Canyon City: Inspired by newly-founded Bryce Canyon City, Stephen creates Colbert Report City in his studio.
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