From our friends over at Alchemist Media:
Mission Accomplished—Top Ranking in Google
Posted in Uncategorized | Friday, April 20th, 2007
Admiral Fishkin, Captain Rohrs, Fellow Officers, Diggers and Bloggers of the SEO world, my fellow Americans: Major combat in operation Giant Brass Balls have ended. In the Battle of the Greatest Living American, Colbert Nation and our allies have prevailed. And now our coalition is engaged in securing and reconstructing our hard earned ranking.
In this battle, we have fought for the cause of liberty, and for a piece of the SERP. Our nation and our coalition are proud of this accomplishment — yet it is you, the members of the Colbert Nation Strike Force, who achieved it. Your courage — your willingness to face danger for your country and for each other — made this day possible. Because of you, our nation is more secure. Because of you, the tyrant has fallen, and Serpia is free.
Operation Giant Brass Balls was carried out with a combination of precision and speed and boldness the enemy did not expect and the world had not seen before. From distant sites and blogs at sea, we sent links and anchors that destroyed the rank of our opposition and propelled a single target to the top. Webmasters and bloggers charged to the top across hundreds of intervening sites in one of the swiftest advances of ranking in search history. You have shown the world the skill and the might of Search Engine Optimization paired with the passion of Colbert Nation.
This nation thanks all of the members of our coalition who joined in a noble cause. We thank the Armed Forces of SEOmoz, The Bacon Nation, and SE Watch, who shared in the hardships of war. We thank all of the citizens of Digg who welcomed our troops and joined in the liberation in support of half a dozen guerrilla attacks. And tonight, I have a special word for Secretary Jarboe, for Generally Frank, and for all the men and women wear the flag of the Colbert Nation: Alchemist is grateful for a job well done.
The character of our military through history — the daring of Wikiality, the fierce courage of The White House Correspondents Dinner, the decency and idealism that turned enemies into allies — is fully present in this generation. When Serpian civilians looked into the faces of our servicemen and women, they saw strength, and kindness, and a sick sense of humor. When I look at the members of the Colbert Nation Strike Force, I see the best of our country, and I am honored to have served – temporarily- as your commander in chief.