“Honk if you love the truth, and please stop watching TV while you’re driving. This is The Colbert Report!”
Reed and Weep: Walter Reed and congresspeople
Special Guest: Ben & Jerry – Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream
Down Jones: Stephen Colbert’s Bears & Balls
Panderslice: Mara Vanderslice, Founder – Common Good Strategies
In closing: Everybody gets a pint! Congratulations, your AmeriCone Dreams have come true!
INTERNET COL-BOMB SITE OF THE DAY:
TrueMajority.org – Get your free frisbee here!
- And that’s in my deaf ear!
- Great to see Stewart supporting the troops for once.
- Someone had to have the courage to walk through that hospital and then have the press document their disapproval.
- Let me put this in perspective for you. They can’t just out their office window and see what’s happening at Walter Reed – no! They have to get in a car. Walter Reed hospital is six miles from the capital.
- The senseless war in Washington must end, so that the war in Iraq can continue in peace.
- In fact, sitting on a box of Klondike bars is the only birth control I use.
- Now you can enjoy me internally as well as externally.
- That picture is so hot, it’s amazing the stuff stays frozen.
- And for a limited time, you can get my Baby Maker Gift Basket.
- And Chunky Monkey, clearly a pro-evolution dessert.
- They are my mob …
- Jerry … hairy … that’s easy.
- You know, you could have a Democratic flavor – Cut And Rum Raisin.
- Not as many people love Jesus as much as I do.
- United We Lick – America Tastes For Stephen
- Anderson Cooper (!)
- All my proceeds go to charity – Eat it, Bono! I’m coming for you, Paul Newman!
- Willie Nelson has a flavor? What’s in it, shredded tax forms and hash?
- Stephen Jr.’s AmeriFlown Dream (Chocolate Fish)
- Oh no! What about Mr. Whiskers?!
- Sell All Things Chinese – Electronics, toys, clothing, dishes … pretty much anything that’s made. Except powdered tiger dong. That stuff will put some bamboo in your shoot.
- “A desparate attempt to avoid bankruptcy” …. “Synergy!”
- Bonds? [No] Gold? [No] Then what? [Bees] Bees? [Yes]
- Now, you’re going to need finesse to get the bees into your safety deposit box. That’s why I recommend coating your face with canned frosting.
- I don’t worry about getting stung because I start with the Epi-pen jammed in my heart. I’m highly allergic to bees.
- Wow, that was a rather interesting interview.
Fangirl Suit Report: Black suit with windowpane pinstriping, Pale gray shirt with barrel cuffs, steel gray tie.