Episode 3001 (1/8/2006)

“On the 15th day of Christmas, your true love gave you me! This is The Colbert Report!”

The Martyr They Fall: Saddam Hussein’s hanging, Democrats being in control

The Wørd: Facts

Blues Clueless: Who’s Attacking Me Now? Lake Superior State University
Who’s Honoring Me Now? The Gays

Stephen’s Sound Advice: Surviving the Winter Blues

  • Enjoy Winter Sports
  • Buy a Light Box
  • Take a Trip

High vs. Mighty: Ethan Nadelman – Author, “Policing the Globe”

Guest Plug:

In closing: You guys get out of here, we’ve got to shoot the 1:30am rerun. See if you can spot the differences!


  • It was bungled, it was rushed, it happened while I was on vacation.
  • FUSSDIRAG’s – Former United States-Supported Dictators Internationally Reviled for Acts of Genocide
  • Stephen Colbert’s Execution Squad Dancers – Sexy but Deadly
  • Stephen Colbert presents: The Gallowtastic Executacular – Hangin’ With Mr. Hussein
  • Rue Mcclanahan! (I thought of you when I saw that, Katie!)
  • Children are just lobbyists who get political favors in exchange for being adorable.
  • I was putting the life-size Nativity scene on my front lawn. Normally I leave it up until St. Valentine’s Day, when I put the Baby Jesus away, hang up a beaded curtain, and turn it into a love barn.
  • Irritable Belief Syndrome
  • Fight facts with “facts”
  • first Name: “The Last”
  • Well, hell, he just blew the whole theme of my site with that Wørd.
  • Godd**mi it! Some bastard’s already scooped up Factiness.com!
  • So listen up, word nerds! Let’s give some other less fortunate words a chance, maybe “Sour Grapes” or “Attention Starved Second-Tier State University”.
  • I’m not one to turn down an honor, any honor. So I accept the fact that I am evidentally the gayest man of the year.
  • Gay.org – Sponsor a starving gay African for only a dollar a day
  • Nothing wrong with being gay for cash. That feeling you can’t fight? It’s the invisible hand of the market.
  • Every part of my body feels different. Especially my corneas. Do I smell bacon?
  • You got a seed in there. (SWC Movie reference!)
  • We have lost the war on drugs when we have withdraw on the war on drugs.
  • Do I live in a commune and have a love baby with my buddy “Spider”.
  • If you want to decriminalize something, ipso facto, or whatever Latin you want to lay on it, you’re soft on crime. … Soooooft on crime.
  • The only thing keeping me from getting high right now is that it’s against the law.
  • What do you want to decriminalize? The pot, the coke, the meth, the glint ….
  • We have to go to Holland and get so high that we make shoes out of wood.

Fangirl Suit Report: Black suit; Ivory shirt with french cuffs and cufflinks; Navy, silver and light blue striped tie

Full set of screencaps at WonkyEar.com


  1. “Glint” absolutely killed me. I believe it’s only the second overt SWC reference he’s made on the show (the first being “Flatpoint”, sometime last May I think).

    Was I the only one struck with a case of deja vu when he talked about taping the 1:30 repeat? Could that line be a repeat?

  2. Meow House says:

    On one segment of The Word a while back, one of the bullets was “Once I was afraid, I was petrified” – which is also a Geoffrey line from SWC (as well as from the song I Will Survive, which obviously came first). But I like to think it was a bullet because of SWC.

  3. The seed reference was a SWC movie reference, too, don’t forget that one!

  4. Meow House says:

    Yep, the seed one too! I am almost positive there have been several SWC other references but now I can’t think of any – but I’m sure I have at other times been watching TCR and gone, “Hey! I know where they got that line!”

  5. There have been a lot of lines, but I’m talking “overt” references. I think a lot of dialogue in SWC is part of their regular vocabulary, so I don’t get surprised by those. When it’s “glint” or “Flatpoint”, though, you know it’s been done on purpose. =)

  6. Glinttt.

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