“I just finished my resume. If anyone asks, this show has been on for 30 years. This is The Colbert Report!”
Womb For Improvement: Eva Longoria’s lesbian role rumor, Stephen Jr. starts to return back to America, Womb Transplant
The Wørd: Expecting
As The World Spurns: Gail Parker (IND candidate -VA)’s campaign jingle
Giving The Boot: Jeffrey Schwartz – CEO, Timberland
In closing: Stephen Colbert’s Kid Activity Corner – Making Nancy Pelosi Hand Turkeys
NOTABLE MOMENTS
- Why couldn’t he have just been gay? I could have handled that. You know, by privately supporting my child’s lifestyle, but publicly supporting an anti-gay agenda. Like Dick Cheney.
- Eagle Porn
- Look at that plumage, she wants it!
- What can I say, I want grandchildren.
- Now I’m in favor of anything that lets more women experience the joy of motherhood. And this could be the greatest boon to fertility since my church group’s “Contra-Contraception” rallies where we meet at pharmacies to poke holes in condoms.
- Dudes having babies
- Or Dude-erus
- That means one thing – Butt Babies. Hear me out! Hear me out, this is science! Let’s be adults about this!
- Oh my, a fetus with a glow stick and a Cat In The Hat hat! Bwahahah!
- There is just nothing more beautiful than a pregnant president.
- Oh hey! Just reading Chinese paper. Reading Chinese … something I can do. I’m not bragging, it’s just not everyone can read Chinese.
- Virginians probably thought that voting for Gail was the only way to get that stupid song out of their head.
- I thought corporations were supposed to dump heavy metals in our rivers and cause birth defects. Isn’t that part of your job?
- Wait a second … now you’re saying I’m lying about you calling me a liar! You’re just digging yourself deeper. Take your licks and move on.
- You say you give your employees time off for community service. Have they all been sentanced to community service?
- I wanna work for Timberland!
- Really let the anger out! Be careful not to cry because it will stain the, uh, ink.
- Kids, be sure to hang this Pelosi turkey on the fridge to remind your parents how their vote for a Democratic house destroyed America. The pilgrims are weeping in heaven.
Fangirl Suit Report: Gray suit, Light Blue shirt with barrel cuffs, Mustard yellow tie with small dotted pattern
Full set of screencaps at WonkyEar.com
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