Feb
09

Episode 6021 (2/8/2010)

By DB · Comments (7) ·

Colbert Report Episode guideEPISODE NUMBER: 6021 (February 8, 2010)
GUESTS: Jonathan Safran Foer
SEGMENTS: The WØRD: Faux ‘N’ Tell
VIDEOS: Monday, February 8, 2010

There were two things I was really disappointed about in the Super Bowl this year. The first is that there weren’t any seriously memorable ads. And secondly, all of the commercials were on Hulu before the game even started. What’s the fun in that?! The enjoyment of the Superbowl ads is that they are one of the rare communal experiences we as a society have any more. That being said, I actually enjoyed the game for once, and that’s got to be some kind of first.

You know, every time I think that Sarah Palin can’t get any stupider, she manages to prove me wrong. The “retard” comment controversy is positively surreal in its stupidity. I found the Jonathan Safran Foer interview to be rather interesting. I’ve eaten pretty much every way you can eat from macrobiotic to Atkins diet. Right now I’m one of those people that eats meat but feels vaguely guilty about it. However, I do have respect for people who don’t eat meat due to their own personal convictions.

What did all of you think about the show tonight?

Stephen Colbert has a thumb

  • I was sure this would be the year that there would be squirrels in a farting contest to sell Doritos. Instead, my director Jimmy cleaned me out on beaver playing fiddle and soaking with blonde in hot tub to sell Monster.com. It’s like I always say, nothing sells like implied beastiality.
  • In Toyota’s defense, their slogan is “moving forward”. They don’t say anything about stopping.
  • Yes! When will Obama get it? We are at war … with Nigeria. Or Yemen. Or Underwear. [The Boxer Rebellion].
  • Behind all the laughter, the senator is making a very serious point about the FBI. They are terrible at finding out the truth. Even their most famous agents, Mulder and Scully never found the truth out there. Or in each other’s full ripe lips. [Or Abducted Each Other's Pants]
  • We could have found out how many fingers he had!
  • No taxation without representation, but there is a two-drink minimum.
  • Palin 2012: Abandon All Hope That Anything Will Ever Change
  • Writing notes on your hand shows that she’s an average Jane, not like those elites and their “memory”.
  • It’s so subtle, you see. So many layers.
  • And Sarah Palin knows it’s okay to call someone a retard if, like Rush, you clearly don’t mean it. Which is why we should all come to her defense and say Sarah Palin is a f**king retard! You see? It’s satire! This also explains the note in her other hand: “Retard = Sometimes Funny”
  • Walk me through it, bum me out, ruin my next meal.
  • So turkey’s can’t “do it”? Really? Their drumlettes are too big?
  • You can really taste the suffering!

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    Thanks for Katt for getting us these vids first thing in the morning! I’ve seen interviews of Stephen by many different people, and each time is a different experience. It almost seemed like Jimmy Fallon was using the Chris Farley Show method of interviewing. I won’t spoil it for you, but the end of Part II is the part that everyone will be talking about this morning. Jimmy still has a way to go with interviewing, but as far as physical comedy, he’s definitely got it.

    Enjoy!


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    FCL
    Another week begins, and we have another stellar guest line-up. My personal preference this week is Claire Danes, who I think is just a brilliant actress, but as always, I am excited for every show. I wonder what Stephen will feed his Grammy this week?


    Monday, February 8: Jonathan Safran Foer

    Jonathan Safran Foer is the author of the recently released book, Eating Animals, which is a book about the author’s exploration of eating choices upon learning that he was going to be a father. Foer decided to examine for himself the advantages and disadvantages of eating meat or being a vegetarian. He investigates factory farms and fisheries in hopes of discovering the morality of eating animals. This was Jonathan’s first work of non-fiction, producing the novels, Everything Is Illuminated and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close in 2002 and 2005, respectively. Born in 1977 in Washington, D.C., Foer attended Princeton University and took a class with famed author Joyce Carol Oates who encouraged him to pursue writing as a career. Jonathan expanded his senior thesis leading to the novel, Everything is Illuminated, which later also became a movie directed by Liev Schreiber and starring Elijah Wood. Foer currently is a professor at the New York University Graduate Creative Writing Program.

    Fract: It runs in the family. Jonathan’s two brothers are both writers as well. His older brother, Franklin, writes for The New Republic and his younger brother, Joshua, is a freelance journalist.


    Tuesday, February 9: George Stephanopoulos

    George Stephanopoulos is the chief political correspondent for ABC News, and also is a co-anchor of the ABC morning program, Good Morning America. Before becoming a part of the ABC News team, Geroge was the senior political advisor for Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidental campaign. After winning the election, Stephanopolous became the White House Communications Director. In 1999, Stephanopolous released the book, All Too Human: A Political Education, his autobiography about the stresses of the highly political life he led during the Clinton administration. Mr. Stephanopolous studied political science at Columbia University, becoming the salutatorian of his class. He then was offered a Rhodes Scholarship on his second attempt. He worked on the 1988 campaign for Michael Dukakis, and later became the “floor man” for Dick Gephardt, a member of the U.S. House of Representatives. George only remained a part of the Clinton administration during the first term, and eventually ended up at ABC, where he now runs the blog, George’s Bottom Line.

    You can follow George on Twitter.

    Fract: A different life? George’s father wanted him to become a priest in his Greek Orthodox religion, and George had considered. Though he did not follow through, he did receive a Master of Theology while studying at Oxford.


    Wednesday, February 10: Claire Danes

    Claire Danes is an actress best known for her work on the short-lived television show, My So-Called Life. She also played the role of Juliet in Baz Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet and Beth March in the 1994 adaptation of Little Women. Most recently, she has taken on the role of Temple Gradin in the movie of the same title which aired on HBO this past Saturday. Grandin is a doctor of Animal Science at Colorado State University who is autistic, but high-functioning. Danes has also starred in the popular films, The Hours, Shopgirl, and The Family Stone. Danes attended Yale University for two years, studying psychology, but dropped out to pursue her acting career. Claire is currently married to fellow actor, Hugh Dancy, who she met on the set of the movie, Evening.

    Fract: Claire Danes had her first kiss on-screen, not in real life. It happened on My So-Called Life.


    Thursday, February 11: Al Michaels

    Al Michaels is a television sportscaster for NBC. He previously worked for ABC for almost thirty years before making the switch. Michaels is known for NFL commentary, acting as the voice of play-by-play action for twenty years on Monday Night Football. His first job, after earning a degree in radio and television, was choosing women to appear on the The Dating Game television show, and his first sports related job was working public relations for the Los Angeles Lakers. In 1977, Al signed a deal with ABC, and during his time there, covered many different sports, including the Olympic games. One of Al Michael’s more notable commentaries was doing the play-by-play for the 1980 “Miracle on Ice” when the United States hockey team unexpectedly won the gold medal at the Olympic games. He recreated the commentary for the 2004 movie Miracle about the game. Al Michaels will help host the 2010 Olympic games during daytime coverage too. He has won five Emmys for “Outstanding Sports Personality – Play-by-Play” for his work, among numerous other accolades.

    Fract: Al Michaels is the only play-by-play commentor to have covered all four major sport championships: the Super Bowl for football, the World Series for baseball, the NBA championships for basketball, and the Stanley Cup for hockey.

    David Ross

    David Ross is famous for his work in the world of art, including spending time as director of the Whitney Museum of American Art, the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston, and the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. Currently, David heads the Albion Gallery in SoHo. He has become a leader for the firm, Artist Pension Trust, which is an investment program that helps with the financial needs of up and coming and established artists – Mr. Ross serves as a member of the Advisory Board. David Ross also works as the editor-at-large of FYLP, an online interactive magazine, which covers topics from politics to science and more.

    You can follow David Ross on Twitter.

    Fract: International reach? Not only has David been accomplished in America, but he also works on curatorial committees in Turin, Italy and Barcelona, Spain.


    Enjoy this week’s shows!


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    Good evening Zoners! Well, Olympic fever has descended upon the Nation. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m really looking forward to Friday when the Games begins. How awesome are these games going to be? Anyway, let’s recap the week!


    Episode Guides:

    Stephen Colbert WINS a Grammy!!:

    • So, I don’t know how many of you know this, but Stephen won a Grammy for A Colbert Christmas the other night. Yeah I didn’t know either.
    • Here’s some eye candy from the big night.
    • And here’s some videos. His daughter is so gorgeous.
    • Stephen talks to Grammy.com here.

    No Fact Zone features:

    Stephen Colbert in the Zeitgeist:

    Stephen’s TV Appearances:

    Six Degrees of Stephen Colbert:

    Klassic Kolbert:


    To keep up with the latest news about Stephen Colbert and “The Colbert Report”, please subscribe to the RSS feed, via reader, e-mail, or your favorite social networking site:


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    Feb
    07

    Klassic Kolbert: Olympic Fever

    By wren · Comments (8) ·

    I’m ridiculously excited that the Olympics are almost upon us, as I’m sure many of you are, too.  Speedskating (of course), snowboarding, slalom, figure skating, you name it.  I may have to dig out the old VCR (yeah yeah yeah, no TiVo) so I can skip all the sentimental back-story hype, though.  In anticipation of all the fun headed our way, let’s look back at Stephen’s coverage of previous Olympic festivities.  Let the silliness begin!

    Daily Show Honorable Mention:  “Do You Believe?” Stephen is a fan of figure skating, and Cher.

    The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
    Do You Believe
    www.thedailyshow.com
    Daily Show
    Full Episodes
    Political Humor Health Care Crisis

    #5 “The Word – U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” Winning isn’t everything.  It’s just as important that we rub it in.

    More Olympics after the jump!

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    zeitgeist2So is everybody excited about watching the Super Bowl tomorrow? Yeah, me neither. But hey, the Olympics are less than a week away, the speedskaters are all in Vancouver, and Stephen and Team Colbert should be up to their collective eyebrows in preparation for their own trip to Vancouver. I’m eager to see what kind of silliness they have planned for us! In the meantime, I’ve got the wrap-up of news from the past week or so, including a couple of items related to the upcoming Faces of America series, a few leftover Grammy Award bits, and even a quick visit to the International Space Station.

    Faces of America

    • Reality isn’t funny for Stephen Colbert; ‘Faces of America’ reveals his family historyNY Daily News – A somewhat spoilerish article about Stephen’s appearance on Faces of America, although some of the information revealed was also discussed during the interview with Henry Louis Gates Jr. on Thursday’s TCR.
    • Local knowledge helps track down US satirist Stephen Colbert’s Limerick rootsLimerick (Ireland) Leader – “Local historian Tony Browne and parish priest Fr Donough O’Malley have helped track down the Limerick great-great-grandfather of America’s top satirist Stephen Colbert… [A]fter being contacted by researchers working on a genealogy programme for PBS, Mr Browne helped them find details of Colbert’s ancestors in St Mary’s parish records in the city.” (Fract: There’s a train station in Limerick city called Colbert Station, named after Conn Colbert, one of the executed leaders of the Easter Rising of 1916. Stephen has jokingly claimed to be related to this particular Colbert.)

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    apopcalypse

    Welcome to No Fact Zone’s weekly roundup of cultural references on The Colbert Report. From Darcy to Danger Mouse, String Theory to Shakespeare, we’ve got the keys to this week’s obscure, oddball, and occasionally obscene cultural shout-outs (hey!).

    Hey Zoners!   How is it February already?  Impossible!  Still, I have it on good authority that we’ve got only 6 weeks of winter left, and you’d better believe I’m going to hold that dirty little rodent to it!  The show has kicked off the month admirably – I love  it when we get new segments, and Job Man Caravan was a hoot, what with that intro straight out of The Soul Train.  Also, at last count, urbandictionary.com had 521 exceedingly NSFW definitions for “Canada’s History“.  Go Nation!  Don’t forget to check out the TCR/TDS links, and post your favorite bits in the comments!  (** = TCR/TDS link)

    Monday: The Word – Siren Song

    “But their old relationship was perfect – it was tantalizingly unconsummated, like Bella and Edward.”

    Pick a side – Twilight fans are at war!  A continuing thread through the novels (and films) is the love triangle in which the mysterious, handsome vampire Edward competes with the mysterious, handsome shape-shifter Jacob for Bella’s love. This must mean Stephen is on Team Edward.  But then we always knew **Stephen wanted to be a vampire!

    “True leaders stand on their principles, not on their accomplishments [World's Greatest Leader: Dennis Kucinich]“

    You know, it almost makes me wish Representative Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) would run for President again.  The house elf and leprechaun jokes flew freely, he was put on **Stephen’s pocket sized On Notice board, and in a hilarious prop bit, **Kucinich emptied his pockets on the show (you’ll never guess what he finds!).

    Tuesday: The Wørd – Cognoscor Ergo Sum & Bananafish Tale & Eliot Spitzer

    “Unfortunately, ijustmadelove.com limits your choices to one of six positions and four locations – indoor, outdoor, on a boat, or in a car. I’m sorry, but I’ve eaten green eggs and ham in more places than that.  If you know what I mean.”

    “I would not, could not in a tree, not in a car, you let me be!” (there’s an animated version of Green Eggs and Ham, but the book is infinitely better).  Thanks, Stephen – I’m going to have some serious trouble reading Dr. Seuss at bedtime now.  No, really. (“Would you, could you, with a goat?”)

    “I believe famous people have to stand on more than their talent. Take Heidi Montag, she’s a huge celebrity, and she has the courtesy to keep her talents hidden.”

    Another proud product of reality TV, Heidi Montag first surfaced as a roommate in MTV’s reality show The Hills.  She’s since drawn significant attention for her numerous plastic surgeries, and somewhat less attention for her recent debut album.

    “The only sadness is not to be a saint.”

    Apparently a favorite quote of Stephen’s (he used it in his MUSC commencement address), it’s from the French Catholic philosopher Jacques Maritain.  The subject of the interview, JD Salinger, has been discussed on the Report many times before, of course (see NFZ’s previous Apopcalypse & memorial coverage).

    [To Eliot Spitzer] “Do you have any big plans after the show tonight?”

    Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (and friend of the show – **Guitarmaggedon!) got himself into a bit of hot water in 2008, when it was discovered that he had been patronizing a high-priced prostitution service.  In fact, records showed that after his last appearance on the Report, Spitzer high-tailed it out of the studio and headed off for one of his liaisons, which **makes Stephen the meat in a Spitzer sandwich (eww! but also see CC’s great **Spitzer mashup).

    Wednesday:  Intro & Be Almost All That You Can Be

    “Jon Stewart went on the O’Reilly Factor tonight. I hope he brought me back a toaster.”

    In 2007, Stephen and Papa Bear Bill O’Reilly traded appearances on each other’s shows.  While over at the O’Reilly Factor, Stephen stole a microwave (really, truly!) from the green room, and then **placed it on his shelf, though he did buy them **a Colbert Report microwave to replace it.

    “We haven’t heard a peep from… Captain Crunch, Sgt. Slaughter, Major Garrett, Lt. Dan, Private Practice, or Colonel Sanders… What would happen if our brave sailors got tattoos, hung around with loose women, or drank alcohol?  Before you know it, they’ll be freebasing spinach.”

    That’s a mouthful of names, plus the classic American children’s model of high morality and healthy living, Popeye the Sailorman.


    “My guest tonight is Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates.  Somebody call the cops.”

    “Now, I may be a simple country lawyer…”

    That was a simultaneously hilarious and spot-on impression of Gregory Peck in To Kill A Mockingbird (just listen to audio from the climactic courtroom scene and compare).  However, the line itself is from Jimmy Stewart’s role as Paul Biegler in Anatomy of a Murder.  My personal favorite instance of the trope is Futurama’s “simple country Hyperchicken“.


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    Am I the only one completely baffled by the fact that January has gone by in the blink of an eye and that we’re already steam rolling straight through February? February of course, can mean only one thing – Vancouver!! But while Stephen is off polishing his skates in preparation for the Winter Olympics his friends will be back in the good old US of A working on their latest new projects.

    Friends of the Show

    Neil DeGreasse Tyson

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